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The full Spanglish breakfast: mealy pudding, bacon, black pudding, sausages, fried egg, toast

Reg man has the cure for IBM storage: Just swallow 10 firms

Comment When you are walking on the Moon, far from home and Earth's tethering gravity then giant steps are what you take. When a product set becomes low or no-growth, then its tethering product gravity effect is weakened and you need to take giant steps to rebuild it ... which brings us to IBM.
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SDI Wars: EMC must FORGET ARRAYS, adapt or disappear

Sysadmin blog Register storage supremo Chris Mellor has recently been reporting on EMC's slow descent into corporate depression due to a combination of activist investors and recalcitrant internecine political strife.

An EMC-HP Borg cube will totally ANNIHILATE its storage worlds

Comment Suppose EMC and HP merged: the result would be an outrageous nightmare of overlapping storage products. Managers would run screaming into the darkness, and bean counters would spend millions converging products. It’s a no-go area, really.
management cloud2

Leading like Mad Leo: HP's Whitman rolls out Apotheker's PC plan

There’s something in the water at Hewlett-Packard. No, I’m not referring to the "HP Way", that pseudo-Victorian philanthropic work creed.

How much is Microsoft earning from its Android taxes again?

Analysis We’ve known for years that Microsoft makes more money from Google’s Android than Google does itself – but now we have a better idea of how much hidden “tax” is included in the price of an Android handset.

David Goulden tosses away CFO cap, holds onto EMC II CEO crown

+Comment Zane Rowe becomes chief cash counter

Microsoft vs the long arm of US law: Straight outta Dublin

Comment Hey you, get off of our cloud
Houses of Parliament in night-time

Give us a digi-Czar and more bureaucrats, begs UK tech-services biz

+Comment New policy proposals published by tech services trade group Tech UK (formerly Intellect) today seek to grapple with its members being marginalised by recent Government fads.
Joe Tucci EMC

Tech starfleet: Will EMC Federation survive a Tucci departure?

Comment Will the tripartite EMC federation set up by Joe Tucci survive his retirement in six months' time?
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Restatements HURT. Just ask global mega distie Tech Data how it's going for them

The world's second-largest wholesale distributor of technology products, services and solutions, Tech Data, was not the first firm to restate its financial results – and it may not be the last.
Columns of coins in the cloud

Hey, biz bods: OpenStack will be worth $3.3bn by 2018

OpenStack looks like it will inject some $3.3bn into the market by 2018, growing from $890m this year according to 451 Research's recent Open Stack Pulse 2014 report.
Internet of Things

IoT: Industry snakeoil or one-way ticket to fame and riches?

Is the Internet of Everything (IoE) just another tech buzz word in an industry known for marketing bluster? It is doomed to go the way of Service Oriented Architectures and Web 2.0?

Meet Solaris 11.2, where SDN means 'Software-Defined Net profit'

Analysis Larry Ellison’s Oracle bowled out Solaris 11.2 last week – and what does this member of the Unix family give us? Cloud computing, yes, but also a stab at a datacenter-in-a-(large)-box.
No Sale

Hey, big spender. Are you as secure as a whitebox vendor?

Sysadmin blog Security flaws are a great source of inter-company marketing FUD, but it is how a company responds to them that determines how trustworthy they are. Can you bet your business – or your personal data – on a company that simply brushes flaws under a rug? Where does the vendor's responsibility end and that of the customer begin?
Lightning

AWS hell no: Can Microsoft Azure sales beat Amazon's cloud?

Comment There's a prospect coming into view of Microsoft’s Azure cloud offering passing Amazon's AWS in cloud revenues. Fancy that.

SHOCK and AWS: The fall of Amazon's deflationary cloud

Analysis It's tough being a victim of your own business strategy, especially if you're Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos.
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Nadella: Apps must run on ALL WINDOWS – PCs, slabs and mobes

Analysis Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella talked up the big changes he has in store for the company during a conference call with financial analysts on Tuesday. And among his plans were "universal" apps that can run on any Windows platform.
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EMC boss Tucci’s last battle: Stopping a forced VMware selloff

Analysis With Joe Tucci, EMC head honcho, set to retire on February next year, the very last thing he wanted was an attack by one of the biggest, baddest activist investors of all: Paul Singer’s Elliott Management.
Satya Nadella

Mobile, cloud, social? Data? Nadella strings sexy words together

Comment "We're keeping Xbox and we're going to make cuts." There, in under 10 words, is the substance of what Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella took 3,300 words to say in a message to investors, staff and the media last week.
cloud computing Fight

Forget the mobile patent wars – these web giants have patented your DATA CENTER

Special report As the months go by, the world's tech giants again and again face off in court alleging patent infringement, usually to bag some extra cash and derail their rivals.

Hey, channel guy. STOP. Don't lock yourself into vendors' refresh cycles

Today’s business environment means that priority is often given to increasing revenue and acquiring more customers. Ensuring the availability of the necessary resources to do so may result in organisations needing to cut costs across other areas.
frustration_anger_irritation_annoyance pain

Adobe Creative Cloud 2014: Progress and pain in the usual places

Comment Remember when software product upgrades were a big thing? Balloons, keyrings, parties? Today, they’re slipped under the door furtively like a pizza takeaway price list. And so it is with Adobe’s announcement today of what’s new in Creative Cloud: lots of PR singing by email, but no actual dancing seems to be taking place.
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

'Cortana-gate' ruins Satya Nadella's Microsoft honeymoon

Analysis It looks like Satya Nadella's honeymoon as Microsoft CEO is over, and it happened during what's already being called "Cortana-gate" by Redmond's own commentards.
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EU probe into Apple's taxes: It's NOT to do with double-Dutch-Irish anything sandwiches

As already reported here at El Reg, Apple is being investigated by the EU over its tax “deal” in Ireland.
Roughly 150kg of gold

DevOps is actually a thing – and people are willing to pay for it

Opinion Is DevOps actually a thing, or just the latest funny way to case a word? At least there are vowels in it. We finally know the proper casing, but is it actually something normals are doing?

Veteran vendors are shaping up for a bitter fight to the DEATH

Comment Distributors and resellers are witnessing some pretty turbulent times in the UK and Ireland which could reshape the industry for years to come.
Rubber bands

EMC's Project Nile: Elastic Cloud Storage isn't stretchy enough to fit me

Storagebod EMC have finally turned Project Nile into a product and given it the wonderful name of “Elastic Cloud Storage”; there is much to like about it. But before I tell you about those, I’ll point out one thing.
HP cloud

Microsoft's 'evil open source' man on life as HP's top cloud-wrangler

He brought Microsoft the open source it had viewed with such dread and now former Redmond man Bill Hilf is challenging the thinking at Hewlett-Packard.

El Reg drills into IBM: The storage biz's got that sinking feeling

Analysis With the tremendous noise of chickens coming home to roost, IBM's first quarter storage revenues carried on crashing down with depressed revenues.

End of an era: NetApp chair Dan Warmenhoven has left the building

+Analysis NetApp chairman and previous CEO Dan Warmenhoven has announced that he plans to retire in September. His chosen successor as CEO, Tom Georgens, becomes the new chairman.

Opinion

The full Spanglish breakfast: mealy pudding, bacon, black pudding, sausages, fried egg, toast
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Trevor Pott

Can the storage giant overcome a lack of necessary leadership?

Chris Mellor

Why overlapping kit from a merger equals a disaster in waiting
management cloud2

Gavin Clarke

The executioner turns gambler as HP's PCs are set to go

Features

No, silly... he was the fall guy for years of Finnish folly
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Frodo and the Ring
Microsoft's strategy is to make Store apps popular. Good luck with that