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Rotten apple

HP doorsteps Apple shoppers at the altar of dreams

HP Inc GPC '16 HP Inc has launched a new sales tactic to take on Apple - hijacking worshippers of expensive iThings as soon as they step outside the altar of dreams to compare Macs with its slim and light PCs. Taking to the stage of the Global Partner Conference in Boston, Ron Coughlin, HP president of the Personal Systems division, did what …
Paul Kunert, 13 Sep 2016
Zod

Kneel before Zod! OpenText claims mighty Documentum from Dell

Dell has finally sold Documentum, one of the oldest and best-known names in storing and retrieving corporate information. Documentum is going to the relatively small OpenText for $1.62bn, as part of Dell’s Enterprise Content Management (ECM) division. That price compares to $1.7bn EMC paid for Documentum in 2003. Dell …
Gavin Clarke, 12 Sep 2016

Meet DDoSaaS: Distributed Denial of Service-as-a-Service

Analysis It’s not often an entirely new and thriving sector of the “digital economy” – one hitherto unmentioned by the popular press – floats to the surface of the lake in broad daylight, waving a tentacle at us. This is the DDoS-for-hire industry, and it’s fascinating for a few reasons. This shady marketplace has done everything a …
Andrew Orlowski, 12 Sep 2016
Office Space

HP Ink buys Samsung's printer business for a BILLION dollars

HP Inc has agreed to purchase Samsung's printer business for over $1bn, the largest print acquisition in its history. Describing the deal as "accelerating the disruption of the $55bn copier industry" HP Ink expects its acquisition of Samsung's tech will help it replace copiers with "superior" multifunction printer (MFP) …
Hololens

Hololens for biz shocker: Surprisingly, it doesn't totally suck

Review At $3,000 Microsoft’s Hololens isn’t going to be in too many gamers’ Christmas stockings this year, being more of a chance for corporates to work out the business case for augmented reality. I did manage to get my hands on, and head in, a Hololens set. I did so thanks to Kazendi who – for £17,500 – can knock out a fixed-price …
Dominic Connor, 12 Sep 2016
Wallisellen, Switzerland - 30 January, 2016: sign on the wall of the Cisco Systems GmbH office.  <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-1322746p1.html?cr=00&pl=edit-00">Denis Linine</a> / <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/editorial?cr=00&pl=edit-00">Shutterstock.com</a>

Cisco's head of enterprise networking bails

Cisco's senior veep for Enterprise Products and Solutions has left the company. Robert Soderbery posted news of his departure on LinkedIn, where he attributed his move to a seven year itch. “Seven has always been the magic number in my career,” he wrote, as “after 7 years, new callings beckon, new adventures to be sought. …
Simon Sharwood, 12 Sep 2016
Suckers

Seagate sued by its own staff for leaking personal info to identity thieves

Seagate is trying to fight off a lawsuit filed by employees whose personal information was lost when the storage giant was hit with a phishing attack. The company is in the midst of a hearing over whether the aggrieved workers have grounds to sue their employer for negligence after someone in human resources was duped into …
Shaun Nichols, 9 Sep 2016
People whispering

US Congress blew the whistle on tax-dodging Apple, claims Europe

It was US Senators that tipped off the European Commission to unusual accounting practices at Apple which lead to its €13bn ($14.5bn) back-tax penalty. That's according to EC Competition Commissioner Margrethe Vestager who told the Copenhagen Business School her team was pointed to potential illegal tax breaks in Ireland by …
Shaun Nichols, 9 Sep 2016
Executioner

Dell swings layoffs axe at 3,000 EMC people

Dell is to trim the workforce following its $60bn-plus buy of storage titan EMC, with between 2,000 to 3,000 heads expected to roll. But if sales don’t track to management expectations, sources told us to expect more. A Bloomberg report claimed Dell will seek out $1.7bn in cost savings in the next eighteen months – but it will …
Paul Kunert, 9 Sep 2016
troll

Double-negative tweet could be Microsoft Surface Phone hint

Microsoft may have just confirmed a Surface Phone via a cryptic tweet. Laura Janet Baker appeared to confirm the long-rumoured flagship via a double negative. It could be the end of the silly season; judge for yourself. Rumours abound that Microsoft will kill off production of its current Lumia range by the end of the year. …
Broken cables, photo via Shutterstock

Plusnet broadband outage: Customers fume as TITSUP* continues

Plusnet has been slammed by its customers for failing to acknowledge or explain the cause of a nationwide broadband service outage. Twitter is stuffed with complaints from around 7am on Friday morning that service has not been resumed following an apparent maintenance period. Plusnet’s service has been struck down across the …
Gavin Clarke, 9 Sep 2016

Quadsys Five sentencing hearing delayed

The sentencing hearing for the Quadsys Five, who pleaded guilty in July to hacking into a rival security reseller, has been postponed as relevant paperwork remains uncompleted. Oxford Crown Court confirmed the “pre-sentence report” was not yet ready and 29 September is new date the defendants will be put before the beak. “It …
Paul Kunert, 9 Sep 2016

Chinese rivals: ZTE to take on Huawei... in the UK

Chinese telco giant ZTE has set its sights on becoming as big in the UK as its rival Huawei, the company's chief information officer Jane Chen has said. Speaking to The Register at the TM Smart City InFocus 2016 event in Yinchuan, China she said: “The UK is the most important area [outside of China] for ZTE” Right now the …
Kat Hall, 9 Sep 2016
Dell EMC Frankenstein's Monster

Dell considers Franken-products once it gets around to consolidation

A running gag in the the HBO sitcom Silicon Valley points out that every other technology company has “making the world a better place” as its mission statement. Add Dell to that list: the leaders of the company's Asia-Pacific limb yesterday used more or less that mantra as to explain the company's next moves. In a conference …
Larry Ellison photo by drserg via Shutterstock

Investors resist Larry Ellison's $9.3bn NetSuite deal

Influential investors are opposing NetSuite’s $9.3bn acquisition by Oracle for selling their firm short. The cloud pioneer’s single largest unaffiliated shareholder, T Rowe Price Associates, has written to NetSuite’s board in a letter here explaining why it won’t hand over its stock for the deal. It raises a major question …
Gavin Clarke, 8 Sep 2016
empty_box

IBM lifts lid, unleashes Linux-based x86 killer on unsuspecting world

HPC Blog IBM is mounting its strongest challenge yet to x86 hegemony with the unveiling of its spanking new Linux based S822LC system. What makes this system different is that it’s based on a new processor/motherboard configuration, complete with a sporty NVIDIA NVLink connector. According to my research, close to half of you HPC users …
Container image via Shutterstock

Little boxes made of ticky-tacky: What Dell's record-busting $67bn EMC deal means

Dell’s acquisition of EMC is large by several measures: a $67bn purchase price – the most ever paid in tech. The claimed joint revenue for Dell and EMC is $74bn and the current joint workforce is 140,000 – with 40,000 being sales staff. Even the statements as to “why” Dell is buying EMC are big – yuuuge - with Michael Dell at …
Gavin Clarke, 8 Sep 2016
UK pound crashes after Brexit

Brexit? We have heard of this, says Dixons Carphone CEO

The UK's vote to leave the European Union has not dampened UK shoppers’ gadget lust, according to Dixons Carphone, which has reported a four per cent year-on-year hike in Q1 sales for the 13 weeks ended 30 July. The consumer electronics and mobile tech borg, created in 2014, saw sales bounce across the entire group – led for …
Paul Kunert, 8 Sep 2016

HPE crams unloved software down Brits' throats – then charges them $9bn to swallow it

Hewlett Packard Enterprise will eject its non-core software business in what it calls an $8.8bn "spin merge" deal with UK-based Micro Focus. HPE's big data, security, and IT management products – including some of its ex-Autonomy assets – will be spun out into a new company that will merge with Micro Focus. That's a software …
Shaun Nichols, 8 Sep 2016
Handshake

McAfee's back! Intel flogs security software biz, pockets $3.1bn

Intel is selling off a majority stake in its security software arm – formerly known as McAfee – to private equity firm TPG, which will rename itself to, er, McAfee. Chipzilla absorbed McAfee Inc in 2010 for $7.68bn, and in 2014 it phased out the McAfee brand name. According to Intel, that software division is today valued at …
Iain Thomson, 7 Sep 2016

Pains us to run an Apple article without the words 'fined', 'guilty' or 'on fire' in it, but here we are

Apple held court in San Francisco on Tuesday to announce updates for the iPhone and Apple Watch lines. Speaking to a hand-picked crowd at the Bill Graham Auditorium (The Register was not invited), CEO Tim Cook showcased the annual updates for both the smartwatch and smartphone pieces of Apple's lineup. A very swimmable Apple …
Shaun Nichols, 7 Sep 2016
recruitment_hired

Avnet interim CEO gets nod for full-time fun and frolicks

Enterprise tech distie Avnet has confirmed former Lenovo big knob Bill Amelio as its permanent chief exec - like it was ever in any doubt. Amelia rocked up in July and fronted the Q4 conference call with analysts to go over why group turnover was still shrinking and then outlined his get rich quick… well a plan. Cue the …
Paul Kunert, 7 Sep 2016
Office 365, photo by dennizn via Shutterstock

Microsoft takes shot at Amazon as it wraps up UK cloud data centres

Microsoft has opened the doors on UK data centre facilities for local customers with a chip at Amazon. The giant’s Azure and Office 365 services are being hosted as options at locations in London, Cardiff and Durham. Dynamics CRM Online will be available from the UK data centres in the first half of next year. Until now, UK …
Gavin Clarke, 7 Sep 2016

When you've paid the ransom but you don't get your data back

Almost one in three firms that pay ransom fail to get their data back, according to new research from Trend Micro. A poll of IT managers at 300 UK businesses sponsored by Trend Micro found that 44 per cent of UK businesses have been infected by ransomware in the last two years. The study also found that around two-thirds (65 …
John Leyden, 7 Sep 2016
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

IBM loses chunky ATM contract, reaches for staff eject button

IBM is to pull the flusher on Technical Support Services staffers in the UK after losing a meaty ATM maintenance contract with Produban, Grupo Santander’s tech arm, which designs and operates the bank's infrastructure. In a note sent to staff - seen by us - Big Blue’s Tim Frisby, TSS UK service delivery business ops manager, …
Paul Kunert, 7 Sep 2016

Hello, Fortinet? Could you patch these vulns please?

Fortinet's load balancer has been found to include a bunch of vulnerabilities, and so far, the Carnegie-Mellon CERT hasn't been able to determine whether or not they've all been patched. In its advisory, the CERT says FortiWAN is subject to command injections, information exposure, and cross-site scripting attacks. As the …
Michael Dell, photo: Dell

What's Dell brewing the day before its EMC mega-slurp? A latte money? Oh, a flat white

Dell has reported near-flat revenues for its second quarter of the year, up just 1 per cent from its position 12 months ago. The company pulled in revenues of $13.1bn in the three months to July 29, compared to just under $13bn this time last year. This generated an operating income of $63m, up from a loss of $103m 12 months …
Iain Thomson, 6 Sep 2016

Dude, you got a Dell lawyer: HPE sues high-flying ex-exec after defection to EMC

HPE is suing a former senior executive who absconded to Dell with a head allegedly full of trade secrets. In a complaint [PDF] filed to the Delaware State Chancery Court, HPE alleges that KC Choi, the departed Vice President of Global Solutions Architecture, violated a 12-month non-compete agreement when he fled to EMC just …
Shaun Nichols, 6 Sep 2016
Privacy image

Intel adds vision to its AI vision with computer vision firm buyout

Intel is not just content to build the silicon brains that will power the Rise of the Machines – it is bidding to own their eyes too, with the acquisition of computer vision developer Movidius. Movidius is 11 years old, having been founded in Dublin and transplanted to San Mateo. No price was disclosed, but the 140-strong firm …
Joe Fay, 6 Sep 2016
lottery

Spinning that Brexit wheel: Regulation lotto for tech startups

The reality of running a new business or doing something innovative is that you're hunting for cracks and niches that others have not yet filled – spaces too small for the big girls and boys already in the market. And many of those niches are fragile, formed in part by chance, opportunistic spaces in the current markets and …
trolley_shopping_648

Equistone grabs stake in print services slinger Apogee

Private equity investor Equistone Partners Europe has slurped a stake in managed print and document services slinger Apogee Corporation. Maidstone-headquartered Apogee employs around 450 staff across 14 offices in the UK and mainland Europe selling hardware and managed services on kit from Canon, Xerox, Konica Minolta and …
Paul Kunert, 5 Sep 2016
Theresa May photo by Frederic Legrand COMEO via Shutterstock

Nul points: PM May's post-Brexit EU immigration options

Comment After a summer of vagueness, prime minister Theresa May is starting to define Brexit, with controlling immigration at the top of her list. That is likely to mean ending the freedom of European nationals* to work in Britain on the same basis as the locals – which will have a major impact on the many British IT employers who draw …
SA Mathieson, 5 Sep 2016
Rubber duck (classic, yellow) floats on water. Photo by shutterstock

O2: Float or flog. What's it going to be, Telefonica?

Spanish telco Telefonica has indicated it could soon hold an IPO of O2 in order to raise funds to pay off debt. Telefonica has previously made noises about exiting the UK market after the EU Competition Commission over the proposed sale of O2 to Three for £10.3bn earlier this year. It had hoped the sale would help reduce its …
Kat Hall, 5 Sep 2016
Power outage

Red-faced VESK scratches '100% uptime' claim after 2-day outage

The swagger has gone from hosted desktop and cloud purveyor VESK after its outage seven days ago forced it to remove the 100 per cent uptime claims on its website. A failed hard disk in its Storage Access Network caused a “panic event” on 26 August, the business confirmed to customers early this week, taking down email …
Paul Kunert, 5 Sep 2016

Of supermarkets, Volkswagen and the future of Dell-EMC

Analysis September 7 sees Dell Technologies absorb EMC and its VMware holding. Storage-watchers are seeing lots of overlap between the Dell and EMC storage products and wondering if there is going to be a product cull. So far there are no signs of this and it could be useful to ask if Dell + EMC is going to be a traditional few- …
Chris Mellor, 5 Sep 2016

McAfee-the-man wants McAfee-the-brand, Chipzilla says no

John McAfee wants to put his name on a business again, and that's got Intel hot under the collar, so it's off to court they go. Documents filed (PDF) in the Manhattan federal court over the weekend tell us that in June, Intel wrote to McAfee-the-man's investmentvehicle, MGT Capital Investments, telling it not to try changing …

When Irish eyes are filing: Ireland to appeal Europe's $15bn Apple tax claw-back

The Irish government formally decided to appeal the European Commission's $14.5 billion back-tax demand on Friday. "There are some very important principles at stake in this case," said the country's finance minister Michael Noonan. "A robust legal challenge before the courts is essential to defend Ireland's interests." "The …

EMC-Pure Storage patent sueball circus sent back to square one

EMC's $14m patent award against Pure Storage has been set aside by a judge who has ordered a new trial. The judge in the Delaware District federal court case ruled that the jury didn't consider the notion that EMC's patent, number 7,434,015 dealing with deduplication, is invalid due to an earlier patent issued to Sun …
Chris Mellor, 2 Sep 2016

Kaspersky 'terminates' deal with security reseller Quadsys

Kaspersky Lab is the first big vendor to publicly rip up its contract with disgraced security reseller Quadsys in the wake of the hacking scandal that the company’s bosses recently admitted to. On 22 July, Quadsys owner Paul Streeter, MD Paul Cox, director Alistair Barnard, account manager Steve Davis and security consultant …
Paul Kunert, 2 Sep 2016
Very colourful For Sale sign (limited offer etc). Photo by Shutterstock

Hewlett Packard Enterprise in talks to offload software, asking for '$8bn to $10bn'

The breakup of Hewlett Packard Enterprise is set to continue with execs locked in talks to offload the software division to private equity biz Thomas Bravo. The asking price is said to be $8bn to $10bn. The sale, reported first by Reuters, would close the curtain on one of HPE’s most embarrassing episodes, namely the …
Paul Kunert, 2 Sep 2016

Latest Intel, AMD chips will only run Windows 10 ... and Linux, BSD, OS X

Water cooler I read an article this week headlined: "The latest Kaby Lake, Zen chips will support only Windows 10." It claimed Intel and AMD's new processors are "officially supported only by Microsoft’s Windows 10." This can't be true? What about Linux? Journalists, right? The short answer is Intel's Kaby Lake aka its seventh-generation …

The survivors: Intel's Apollo Lake netbook CPUs stagger from Goldmont bloodbath

Amid the Kaby Lake noise this week, Intel slipped out six processors, codenamed Apollo Lake, for cheapo netbooks, tablet-laptop mutants and small PC boxes. These are 14nm low-power system-on-chips that use the x86 Goldmont architecture, and are branded Pentiums and Celerons. In April, Intel axed its Goldmont-based Broxton …

Opinion

Baby looks taken aback/shocked/affronted. Photo by Shutterstock

Kat Hall

Plans for 2 million FTTP connections in next four years 'not enough'
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella
Stranded_ships

Chris Mellor

Thousands of layoffs announced as spinning rust enters its death spiral

Chris Mellor

BTIG analysts ponder Pure's position and fall in (qualified) love
chef presents a roast chicken in pomegranate sauce. Photo by Shutterstock

Enrico Signoretti

Flash cacher gets undermined by cheapening flash

Features

STRASBOURG, JUNE 29, 2016: The seat of the European Parliament. by Marco Aprile for shutterstock. EDITORIAL USE ONLY
Plan b, image via Shutterstock
EU workers, new markets: post-Brexit pressure on May & Co
Tough question, pic via Shutterstock
Honest mistake with your licensing? Audit police look at it on a 'case by case basis'
Kevin Turner
Last of Steve Ballmer's old guard heads for the exit
Wind turbine, image via Shutterstock