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Johnny Carson as Carnac

Disco, Pogs, and the Microsoft Surface 3

Microsoft is wrapping up production of its Surface 3 tablet, with no successor in sight. The Redmond giant has confirmed reports that it will be ending production of the Atom-powered tablet at the end of the year and selling out its current stock of hardware. The Surface Pro 4 and Surface Book remain available. "Since …
Shaun Nichols, 24 Jun 2016

Finally, with W10, Microsoft’s device strategy makes sense

Analysis Microsoft stubbornly refuses to let go of making hardware, but now the reasons why CEO Satya Nadella has not followed his clear instinct to ditch devices (except Xbox) are becoming clearer. We have analysed many times why Microsoft should not make smartphones and tablets, mainly because of conflicts of interest with the OEM …
Wireless Watch, 28 Oct 2015
Steve Ballmer. Pic:  Aanjhan Ranganathan

Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Analysis Less than two years into Satya Nadella's tenure as CEO of Microsoft, he's already had to report a lossmaking quarter. It's only the second time that's happened in the software giant's three decades as a public company, and the $8.44bn write-off Redmond posted earlier this week is the largest in its history. Don't blame Nadella …
Neil McAllister, 27 Jul 2015
LIFE_SUPPORT_HEART_AND_LUNG_MACHINE

Windows RT on life support: Microsoft vows it won't pull the plug

Fear not, you unlucky owners of Windows RT tablets: Microsoft hasn't abandoned you yet. Not entirely, anyway. According to Microsoft spokesman Gabe Aul, Windows RT, the feature-limited version of Windows 8 for ARM-powered fondleslabs, will in fact be getting another significant update soon. That's the good news. The bad news …
Neil McAllister, 16 Jul 2015
Satya Nadella

Satya Nadella, Year One: Has Microsoft's new CEO cut the mustard?

One year ago, on February 4, 2013, Microsoft's board of directors appointed Satya Nadella the third chief executive in the company's history. So what do we have to show for it, so far? Nadella's predecessor, Steve Ballmer, wasted no time in taking his hands off the wheel in Redmond, even going as far as to resign his seat on …
Neil McAllister, 05 Feb 2015
management regulation7

RIP Windows RT: Microsoft murders ARM Surface, Nokia tablets

Microsoft has quietly pulled the plug on the last device to ship running Windows RT, casting doubt on the future of Redmond's ARM fondleslab OS. The software giant confirmed on Wednesday to The Register that it has stopped manufacturing the Nokia Lumia 2520, a 10.1-inch Windows RT tablet with a quad-core ARM processor, an HD …
Neil McAllister, 04 Feb 2015
Photo of billboard marketing Microsoft Surface with Windows RT

Is Windows RT not invited to the Windows 10 upgrade party?

With all the hoopla coming out of Microsoft's Windows 10 event in Redmond on Wednesday, there was surprisingly little talk of Windows RT, the feature-limited version of Windows 8.x for ARM-based tablets – and perhaps with good reason. In a Q&A with press following Wednesday's keynote, Redmond OS bosses Terry Myerson and Joe …
Neil McAllister, 22 Jan 2015
Microsoft Surface bomb

Happy 2nd birthday, Windows 8 and Surface: Anatomy of a disaster

Analysis This weekend marks two years since Windows 8 and Surface were launched at a press event at Pier 57 on the Hudson River in New York. The invitation for the Windows 8 launch in October 2012 “It is today that with great pride we unveil this new generation of Windows. Starting at 4.01am worldwide, the next era of Windows …
Tim Anderson, 24 Oct 2014

Business is back, baby! Hasta la VISTA, Win 8... Oh, yeah, Windows 9

There’s nothing tech companies like more than creating buzz. The more buzz, the less substance – as a rash of me-too tablet events a few years back proved. Tomorrow, Microsoft is scheduled to host an event on the West Coast that many believe will be the scene of the unveiling of the next version of Windows. Upping the …
Gavin Clarke, 29 Sep 2014

Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3

Review Microsoft’s Surface Pro 3.0 tablet sees its UK release on 28 August. But why is the Surface fondleslab called Surface? Microsoft hijacked the name from one of its own existing products, the niche tabletop display now called PixelSense, but a remark by vice president Panos Panay at the October 2012 launch of the first Surface …
Tim Anderson, 21 Aug 2014

PC makers! You, between Microsoft and the tablet market! Get DOWN!

Comment So, the new Surface Pro is here – number three. According to Microsoft folklore Redmond gets things right by version number three of a new product, it then kills off the competition and history is written. But it seems unlikely that the Surface Pro 3 will be remembered as the iPad Air or Android killer of Microsoft's tablet …
Gavin Clarke, 21 May 2014
Microsoft Surface tablets

Microsoft may launch several new Surfaces on May 20 – report

Microsoft's Surface launch event on May 20 may be a bigger deal than was previously thought, with multiple new models to be unveiled, a new report claims. Redmond hasn't said what it plans to announce at the media event, billed as a "small gathering" in New York. But most rumors point to a "Surface Mini" – some version of …
Neil McAllister, 07 May 2014
Nadella

FINALLY Microsoft releases Office for iPad – but wait there's a CATCH

Microsoft has, after years of speculation, released some of its Office applications for Apple iPad owners – but you'll need an Office 365 subscription to use them in anything other than a lobotomized form. Nadella Nadella holds his first press conference since taking former CEO Steve Ballmer's crown The Apple App Store now …
Iain Thomson, 27 Mar 2014
Microsoft Surface tablets

Microsoft's battery-boosting Surface slab cover to ship soon

Six months after launching the second generation of its Surface tablets, Microsoft says it is finally ready to begin shipping an accessory that it says can extend the battery life of the fondleslabs by as much as 70 per cent. The Surface Power Cover was announced during the Surface 2 launch but wasn't immediately available for …
Neil McAllister, 11 Mar 2014
Happy child at Christmas with a tablet

Apple and Android split Santa's stash, go on Xmas PC and tab high

Apple sold more tablets and PCs than anybody over the Christmas trading period but – just like everybody else – it felt growing pressure from Google’s Android. That is the story of PC and tablet makers for the fourth quarter of 2013, according to the first numbers for the period from analyst outfit Canalys, given to The Register …
Gavin Clarke, 31 Jan 2014
Photo of billboard marketing Microsoft Surface with Windows RT

Microsoft loses grip on Christmas shoppers... despite XBox boost

Analysis Microsoft's second quarter results, posted on Thursday, reveal that the software giant struggled in the sexy world of devices during the all-important Christmas shopping period. These are the first numbers indicating how the battle between PCs and smart devices played out over the battleground for consumers' wallets that is …
Gavin Clarke, 24 Jan 2014
Happy child at Christmas with a tablet

Microsoft 'cautiously optimistic' about Christmas sales

Microsoft is quietly confident it can avoid a repeat of the pantsing it took last Christmas with a triple consumer hit of Windows 8.1, Surface 2 and Xbox One. Terry Myerson, installed chief of all things Windows operating system at Microsoft in a massive Microsoft re-org during the summer, told Wall St yesterday there’s growing …
Gavin Clarke, 05 Dec 2013

Blighty's biz bods get their paws on Nokia phondleslab

Businesses channels will have real but only limited supplies of Nokia’s first tablet in the next few weeks, while the phone giant has signed an exclusive deal with upmarket Blighty retail outfit John Lewis. Arguably the Lumia 2520 makes more sense in a business than anywhere else, with Windows RT now capable of running an …
Andrew Orlowski, 03 Dec 2013
Photo of Microsoft Surface Windows 8 Pro, with Touch Cover

Microsoft Surface slabs borked by heat-induced DIM SCREEN OF DEATH

The latest generation of Microsoft Surface tablets are overheating, causing the screens to dim to the point they are unusable - but it's OK, people, Microsoft is onto it and a fix is coming. Frustrated customers have taken to the Microsoft community forums to complain that the device runs hot when playing games, or while running …
Paul Kunert, 28 Nov 2013
Muscular man stripping off his shirt

Salesforce stuffs CRM dollars into Benioff's package

No wonder Marc Benioff is feeling relaxed. Salesforce is increasing his multi-million-dollar package by more than a fifth. Benioff is getting a 20 per cent bump in base salary to $1.44m – up from $1.2m - for fiscal 2015, starting on 1 February. The CEO has been allocated a top up of 1,849,441 shares of common stock too. …
Gavin Clarke, 28 Nov 2013
Microsoft campus

Microsoft: Ha ha, my Wall Street friends - THIS time the victory is OURS

Microsoft disclosed on Thursday its earnings for the first time since outgoing CEO Steve Ballmer announced the company's radical restructuring in July, and from all appearances, all is well in Redmond. The software behemoth reported profits of $5.24bn (up 17 per cent year on year) and earnings per share of $0.63 on record …
Neil McAllister, 25 Oct 2013
Apple iPad 3 aka new iPad

Microsoft: You've got it all WRONG. It's Apple's iPad playing catch-up with our Surface

Microsoft's corporate mouthpiece and score-settler Frank Shaw has launched a war of words against the iPad, saying that compared to the Surface's pricing and productivity potential, Apple's slablet is "playing catch-up". Blogging from Nokia World in Abu Dhabi, Shaw - who is perhaps best known for griping about what he saw as …
Paul Kunert, 24 Oct 2013
Surface 2 teaser

It's NOT an iPad - but that's FINE: I learned to LOVE Microsoft's Surface 2

Review Microsoft’s first take on Surface RT was a disaster, culminating in a $900m stock write-down in July. Curious then that the company has now produced the Surface 2 with a similar design, and also running Windows RT, the locked-down ARM build on which you cannot install desktop applications – only new-style apps from the Windows …
Tim Anderson, 23 Oct 2013
medical_doctor_health_channel

Now swallow: Microsoft hands out cure for Surface RT tabs killed by Win 8.1

Microsoft has quietly released a recovery image for Surface RT tablets rendered unusable by bugs in last week's upgrade to Windows RT 8.1. The image can be downloaded here, along with a short instruction sheet explaining how to create a bootable recovery drive using any PC running Windows 7 or later and any USB drive larger …
Neil McAllister, 21 Oct 2013
"334/365 this is a phoooonne!!!" - Lazurite

Microsoft pulls Win 8.1 RT code which upgraded Surface 'slabs into BRICKS

Microsoft has quickly backpedalled on its Windows 8.1 update, pulling it from the Windows Store after reports that it was bricking Surface tablets. In this post at its Answers site, Microsoft explained the withdrawal of the update: “Windows RT 8.1. Microsoft is investigating a situation affecting a limited number of users …
Pin to start in Windows 8.1

Here comes Windows 8.1! Microsoft grits teeth, pushes upgrade to world

Analysis Microsoft today unleashed Windows 8.1, the version to soothe folks ruffled by the touchscreen-friendly user interface. Crucially, the software giant really didn’t want to make this particular upgrade: it's effectively stepped back from the original Windows 8 blueprint. At 4am Pacific time (7am Eastern, 12 noon UK time), …
Gavin Clarke, 17 Oct 2013
Surface Pro 2 with docking station

Microsoft: We're nearly OUT OF STOCK of Surface 2 and Pro 2

Microsoft says it is nearly out of stock of its forthcoming Surface 2 and Surface Pro 2 fondleslabs, though what that means in terms of actual sales figures is anybody's guess. Surface 2 and Surface Pro 2 are close to selling out. All those buyers are gonna need apps. Your move: http://t.co/YGWmjklfuB — Microsoft Developer (@ …
Neil McAllister, 04 Oct 2013

Poor miserable Ballmer's pay SLASHED to a measly $1.26m

Failings on Windows 8 and a crippling Surface writedown have seen Steve Ballmer’s pay docked for a second year in succession. Microsoft’s outgoing chief executive received a total package of $1.26m – a base salary or $697,500 and a bonus of $500,000, according to Microsoft’s 2013 proxy statement. Ballmer’s bonus was just 79 per …
Gavin Clarke, 04 Oct 2013
Microsoft Surface

Surface Mini on shelves NEXT YEAR – and it will run Windows RT

Microsoft isn't done with its second round of Surface tablets, but a Mini version with an eight-inch or smaller screen and running Windows RT probably won't arrive until next year, according to the latest rumors. Longtime Redmond-watcher Mary Jo Foley's sources say Microsoft is readying a pint-sized portable to round out its …
Neil McAllister, 25 Sep 2013
Microsoft Surface tablets

Dell 'disappears' cut-price Windows XPS 10 RT tab

Dell, the last bastion of Windows RT on fondleslabs - outside of Microsoft itself - has refused to give a public seal of approval to the OS ahead of a product refresh next week. This comes after the XPS 10 tablet models running Windows RT disappeared from parts of its website. While the devices are no longer available at Dell's …
Paul Kunert, 25 Sep 2013
Microsoft Surface tablets

Microsoft: Surface a failure? No, it made us STRONGER

Microsoft's Surface fondleslabs haven't been selling as well as it or its retail partners would have liked, but top execs say that building hardware in-house is an essential part of Redmond's strategy, and one that has already paid off. Speaking at a meeting with financial analysts on Thursday, Microsoft chief operating …
Neil McAllister, 20 Sep 2013

Microsoft announces iPad amnesty for fanbois

Sick of your iPad and want to swap it for something that's far less desirable? Microsoft wants to help you out. Redmond has launched a scheme offering a $200 gift card in exchange for a "gently used" iPad 2, 3 or 4. You'll need to give them your charger cable as well and make sure your fondleslab is wiped clean - both on the …
Jasper Hamill, 13 Sep 2013
Photo of billboard marketing Microsoft Surface with Windows RT

Microsoft to unveil new Surface slabs at September 23 event

Microsoft will launch the second generation of its Surface fondleslabs at an invitation-only event to be held in New York City on September 23. The company teased the event with invites emailed to media on Monday that gave few details, other than making very plain that Surface will be in the limelight. Even the invitation's …
Neil McAllister, 09 Sep 2013
Photo of Microsoft Surface Windows 8 Pro, with Touch Cover

Second-gen Surface and Surface Pro rumored to be minor upgrades

More details have begun to trickle out regarding Microsoft's second-generation Surface fondleslabs, which are expected to ship in the fall. On Wednesday, Neowin reported that new versions of both the Intel-based Surface Pro and the ARM-based Surface running Windows RT were in the works. Windows-watcher Paul Thurrot later …
Neil McAllister, 04 Sep 2013

Microsoft's $7.1bn Nokia gobble: Why you should expect the unexpected

Analysis With Microsoft’s purchase of Nokia’s mobile business for $7.1bn, the Redmond software giant has finally become a phone and device maker. The deal gives Microsoft Nokia’s global handset engineering, manufacturing, sales and distribution business; the family of Windows-Phone-powered Lumia smartphones; a war chest of 8,500 Lumia …
Gavin Clarke, 03 Sep 2013

Ex-Windows chief Sinofsky flogs brains to Valley startups

Microsoft’s former Windows chief Steven Sinofsky is re-inventing himself in Silicon Valley as an investor and startup mentor. In his role as a newbie at Silicon Valley venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz, Sinofsky is now an advisor to file-sharing service Box. Co-founder and chief executive Aaron Levie blogged that Sinofsky …
Gavin Clarke, 30 Aug 2013

Why Teflon Ballmer had to go: He couldn't shift crud from Windows 8, Surface

Analysis Microsoft chief exec Steve Ballmer has gone sooner than anyone, even he himself, had expected. On Friday he announced he will give up the reins following a 12-month transition. A one-year exit is proper given Ballmer’s position: the CEO of a major listed company. What’s strange, however, is the timing - that Ballmer should be …
Gavin Clarke, 27 Aug 2013

What Surface RT flop? Nokia said to be readying WinRT slab for September

New reports have emerged suggesting that Nokia is planning to boldly go where other device makers fear to tread: the Finnish firm is reportedly planning to release a tablet running Microsoft's ill-fated Windows RT operating system. Murmurs that Nokia is working on a Surface RT competitor have been buzzing around for months now …
Neil McAllister, 26 Aug 2013
Microsoft Surface tablets

Microsoft: That $900m Surface write-down is smarting

Microsoft will today kick-start commercial channel sales of the little loved Surface RT and Pro, as our sources predicted, but the move is being pushed through ten months later than it should have been. Redmond has already paid the price for its stubbornness: selling the device direct and latterly through a handful of retailers …
Paul Kunert, 15 Aug 2013

Lawsuit claims Microsoft misled investors in Surface RT fiasco

A US law firm has filed a class-action lawsuit on behalf of Microsoft shareholders, alleging that Redmond misled investors when it failed to alert them to dismally poor sales of its ARM-based Surface RT fondleslabs. According to a press release issued by the law firm of Robbins Geller Rudman & Dowd on Monday, the suit charges …
Neil McAllister, 14 Aug 2013
Screenshot of Windows 8.1 showing new Start button

There she blows! Mid-October release date for Windows 8.1 sighted

Microsoft will unleash Windows 8.1 for world+dog to download in October, it's claimed, a year after it released the touchscreen-friendly, tile-tastic Windows 8. The software giant is preparing to release version 8.1 of its operating system to computer makers later this month, but it has been reported the public will get the …
Gavin Clarke, 13 Aug 2013

Despite Microsoft Surface RT debacle, second-gen model in the works

Nvidia's CEO says his company is working with Microsoft on a second-generation Surface RT, and that he believes it has a chance of success – even though the original Surface RT tablet was an utter flop – because it will include Microsoft Outlook. "It is the killer app for Windows," Huang told Cnet. "Now we're going to bring it …
Rik Myslewski, 09 Aug 2013

Asus boss flushes down tabs, says 'Windows RT has not been successful'

It takes a big company to admit it's wrong - and Taiwanese PC maker Asus has finally conceded that it can't keep making Windows RT tablets that folk simply don't want to buy. "It's not only our opinion, the industry sentiment is also that Windows RT has not been successful," said Asus CEO Jerry Shen told the WSJ ahead of its …
Paul Kunert, 09 Aug 2013

Microsoft Surface sales numbers revealed as SHOCKINGLY HIDEOUS

Microsoft's shares took a beating following its gloomy fiscal 2013 earnings report earlier this month, in which it wrote down nearly a billion dollars on its unloved Surface RT fondleslabs. But the software giant isn't out of the woods yet, because new details have emerged that have the full Surface picture looking even worse …
Neil McAllister, 30 Jul 2013
South Park's Underpants Gnomes

Surface RT: A plan worthy of the South Park Underpants Gnomes

Opinion Business strategy at Sun Microsystems became a joke long before even the prospect of a mercy acquisition by Oracle was in the air. If I’d heard one Sun executive try to convince me that hardware-dominated Sun was going to become a successful software and services player, I’d heard them all say it. Tired of hearing the same old …
Gavin Clarke, 20 Jul 2013
Photo of billboard marketing Microsoft Surface with Windows RT

Microsoft's earnings down on slow Windows sales, Surface RT bust

Just how off were Microsoft's sales projections for its ARM-powered Surface RT fondleslabs? Try $900m off. That's how much Redmond wrote down in inventory adjustments in its disappointing fourth quarter and fiscal 2013 earnings report on Thursday, which saw the software giant miss analyst estimates by a significant margin. …
Neil McAllister, 19 Jul 2013

Microsoft admits it's '18 months behind' with Windows 8 slabs

Microsoft's touchy Surface tablet and the wider family of the Windows 8 and 8.1 OEM "ecosystem" are 18 months behind where it "wants them to be", but they will soon start to put the clamps on the iPad, a Microsoft UK director is claiming. There are now plenty of touch-enabled slabbies in the UK supply chain, something that …
Paul Kunert, 18 Jul 2013

Microsoft lathers up Windows 8.0 Surface RT for quick price shave

Microsoft is once again slashing the price of its unwanted ARM-based Surface RT fondleslabs. The software giant has shaved 30 per cent off the price of a 32GB RT device now $349 and 25 per cent off the 64GB RT, now $449. A 32GB Surface with a black Touch cover has been cut by 25 per cent to $449 and a 64GB unit with same black …
Gavin Clarke, 15 Jul 2013

Microsoft preps UK Surface Pro 'pilot', tiptoes around Win 8 OEM rivals

Microsoft is still minding its Ps and Qs with OEMs competitors pals as it prepares to run a pilot for Surface Pro distribution in the UK. As revealed by us last week, Microsoft is talking to five resellers in Blighty - Insight, Kelway, Misco, SCC and Computacenter - about taking the slab to business customers. It also planning …
Paul Kunert, 09 Jul 2013
Screenshot of the Office 2013 installer for Office 365

Microsoft: Still using Office installed on a PC? Gosh, you squares

Microsoft has dangled fresh licences for Office 365 - its subscription-based software suite - and beefed up its data-analysis tools to woo more business customers. Opening its Worldwide Partner Conference (WPC) in Houston, Texas, Microsoft announced something it's called “upgrade SKUs” that will let IT bosses running on-premises …
Gavin Clarke, 09 Jul 2013

Opinion

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella
Stranded_ships

Chris Mellor

Thousands of layoffs announced as spinning rust enters its death spiral

Chris Mellor

BTIG analysts ponder Pure's position and fall in (qualified) love

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