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Bloody Dell! Is EMC going to drop its logo? Answers on a postcard to Brentford

Pics Corrective brand surgery seems to be taking place at EMC’s London HQ already – it may be that Michael Dell is so keen to get his hands on the storage giant that he can’t wait for the ink to dry on the deal. Following a tip-off about the changes taking place, El Reg in the UK braved the mean streets of Richmond and Kew to reach …
Paul Kunert, 26 Aug 2016

NHS injects tender for PC and peripherals kit with £500m

The UK's NHS has a £500m budget to burn on PCs, printers and monitors in the latest mega framework tender to be dangled in front of ravenous tech suppliers. A ten lot agreement including desktops, lappies, tabs, peripherals, and warranties has been issued by the NHS Shared Business Services - the joint venture between DfH and …
Paul Kunert, 25 Aug 2016
Smartphone user photo via Shutterstock

iPhone: Apple's Mac battle with Windows rebooted

Apple under Tim Cook has delivered six new makes of iPhone, with a further four derivations based on the overall brand. The future, according to Cook this week, looks an awful lot like Apple’s recent past – especially if you happen to live in India, which is the new China in terms of tech firms looking to tap a vast and …
Gavin Clarke, 19 Aug 2016
Amazon Workspaces on an iPad

Amazon now renting cloudy desktops for $0.22 an hour

Amazon Web Services' “Workspaces” desktop-as-a-service offering can now be paid for by the hour. Workspaces are a cut of Windows Server 2008 with a Windows 7 skin and are consumed with a custom client application. Until today, the service was sold by the month for a fixed price that included storage. That's now called the “ …
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2016

The calm before the storm: AMD's Zen bears down on Intel CPUs

AMD is continuing to drip feed information about Zen, its long-awaited designed-from-scratch x86 processor microarchitecture. Zen is a big deal, or rather needs to be a big deal, for AMD because its previous Bulldozer microarchitecture was, well, bulldozed by Intel's Core series. Thus, AMD needs Zen to succeed in order to win …
Chris Williams, 18 Aug 2016
Girder photo via Shutterstock

Microsoft: Why we had to tie Azure Stack to boxen we picked for you

Microsoft has explained the rationale behind last month’s announcement that you won’t be allowed to simply download Azure Stack and get going. In July Redmond informed fans the only way they’d be able to get Azure in their own data centres would be on hardware of its choosing. Specifically, Azure Stack will only come pre- …
Gavin Clarke, 15 Aug 2016
Asus S1

Mobile malaise drags down Asus Q2 numbers

Asus has reported a double digit slide in net income for the fourth quarter, highlighting that even overtaking Apple in the computer sales stakes is no golden ticket to world domination. The netbooks and bikinis innovator turned in Q2 net revenues of $NT93.9bn (£2.3bn), a 5 per cent slip on the same period last year, results …
Joe Fay, 12 Aug 2016
Exploding Kitten Goal Cartoon

Business users force Microsoft to back off Windows 10 PC kill plan

Microsoft has backed down on its plan to hustle owners of certain PCs to Windows 10 by crimping support options. Redmond revealed the plan last January, when it decreed that PCs running 6th-generation Core i5 or Core i7 CPUs and Windows 7 would only get limited security and stability support until mid-2017. By March it backed …
Simon Sharwood, 12 Aug 2016
SGI in Jurassic Park

OMG: HPE gobbles SGI for HPC. WTF?

Hewlett Packard Enterprise has bought venerable computing firm SGI – formerly Silicon Graphics – for $275m. Over the past few years, SGI has concentrated on the big-iron end of the server market and high-performance computing. It's this technology that HPE wants to bolster its hardware lineup. "At HPE, we are focused on …
Iain Thomson, 11 Aug 2016

Acer: 'We made a profit!' Yeah, but your sales figures are shrinking

Over-the-hill PC maker Acer is still under-performing, its latest set of shrinking product sales figures have confirmed. The Taiwanese biz, among the two biggest shifters of notebooks in Europe a decade ago, is still searching to regain the formula that propelled it – but people just aren’t buying cheap lappies in the volumes …
Paul Kunert, 11 Aug 2016

Bungling Microsoft singlehandedly proves that golden backdoor keys are a terrible idea

Updated Microsoft leaked the golden keys that unlock Windows-powered tablets, phones and other devices sealed by Secure Boot – and is now scrambling to undo the blunder. These skeleton keys can be used to install non-Redmond operating systems on locked-down computers. In other words, on devices that do not allow you to disable Secure …
Chris Williams, 10 Aug 2016
Boy two fingers, photo via Shutterstock

Microsoft: You liked Windows 10 so much, you'll get 2 more in 2017

Microsoft is planning two releases of Windows 10 in 2017. The giant has said there will be no new features coming for the rest of 2016, so the plan is for “two additional feature updates” in 2017. Microsoft folded the news inside the overall headline grabber on Windows 10 Anniversary Update on August 2. There were no more …
Gavin Clarke, 05 Aug 2016

Microsoft has stopped cutting sales fees for resellers? Yep

Microsoft has quit hacking into fees paid for channel software sales, and reselling clouds is getting more profitable – these seemed to be the major takeaways from top brass at Insight Enterprises in an enterprising Q2. Revenue at group level went up two per cent to $1.46bn, but this top line expansion was driven purely by the …
Clodagh Doyle, 04 Aug 2016
Slipway

Seagate scoops a revenue boost off back of its 8TB drives

Seagate has beaten its own preliminary fiscal 2016 fourth quarter estimate of $2.65bn revenues with a $2.7bn quarter. Still, this was 6.9 per cent less than a year ago, although 3.8 per cent up on the third quarter. Profits were $70m, 49 per cent less than a year ago but a whole, thumping lot better than last quarter's $21m …
Chris Mellor, 02 Aug 2016

Windows 10 Anniversary Update: This design needs a dictator

Hands on If you’ve travelled at all around suburban or rural Greece, Turkey or North Africa you’ll wonder why almost every other house seems to be permanently under construction. There’ll be a house extension underway that can take decades to complete. Sometimes it’s because there just aren’t enough builders or because more tax has to be …
Andrew Orlowski, 02 Aug 2016
Windows 10 Anniversary Update, showing the new three-column Start menu

Windows 10: Happy with Anniversary Update?

The Big Review One year after the launch of Windows 10, Microsoft has released the Anniversary Update, bringing new features as well as usability tweaks to the operating system. Windows 10 was always more than just another release. Notable innovations include the concept of Windows-as-a-service, with regular updates (free for consumer …
Tim Anderson, 02 Aug 2016
Ten fingers with windows flag

Windows 10 grabs 22 per cent desktop market share in a year

Windows 10 has grabbed more than 20 per cent of the world's desktops in its first year, according to the web-watchers on which The Register relies for regular assessments of operating system market share. Those watchers are Netmarketshare and StatCounter, which now have data covering the entire year since Redmond shoved …
Simon Sharwood, 02 Aug 2016

RM to resell Apple, Lenovo, HP, Dell to YOUR children

With revenues down and education spending stuck in the doldrums, supplier RM has hit upon a novel idea to expand - reselling low-margin kit from the vendors that helped sink its own hardware production line. The one-time system builder powered down its own manufacturing facility in Oxford in late 2013 after mounting losses, …
Paul Kunert, 01 Aug 2016
Kaspersky image

Kaspersky so very sorry after suggesting its antivirus will get you laid

Kaspersky has apologized for displaying a sexist pop-up advert in its security software. It's not sorry about showing adverts on people's PCs, however. The Russian giant's desktop software suite flings adverts, er, news items about Kaspersky products at users who have already paid for its applications. On Friday, one of these …
Iain Thomson, 29 Jul 2016
Microsoft Lumia 640 XL

Microsoft buries the bad Windows Phone news: Mobile sales collapse

Microsoft has revealed how badly its Windows phone business has crashed via paperwork filed with America's financial regulator, the SEC. Nokia was shipping 7.3 million Lumias per quarter when the deal to acquire its phone unit was announced in September 2013. Nokia was shipping over 90 per cent of Windows Phones sold. But in …
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Jul 2016
Crowd watches fireworks at night in the field. Photo by Shutterstock

WD disk revenues spin slower as its flash fireworks go off

WDC beat its own better-than-expected preliminary results estimates with a $3.495bn quarter but swung to a $351m loss with fewer disk units sold. Layoffs are coming. Revenues for the fourth fiscal 2016 quarter, ended July 1, were 9.2 per cent higher than a year ago and 24.8 per cent up on the previous quarter. This quarter …
Chris Mellor, 29 Jul 2016
I quit

Comparex boss Mike Chambers packs bags and heads for hills

Comparex's veteran UK boss has left the Microsoft enterprise licensing reseller, the business has confirmed to The Channel. Mike Chambers was one of the early employees at the Harrow-on-the-Hill-based organisation, branded PC-WARE when he joined as managing director in 2004. “We can confirm that Mike Chambers has decided to …
Paul Kunert, 29 Jul 2016
The big split

Systemax flogs German sub to CANCOM

The break up of Systemax’s European operations may have just started after it brokered a “definitive agreement” to sell the Misco German subsidiary to CANCOM for an undisclosed sum. Under the terms of the deal, staff and customer lists will be transferred to the new owner. The deal is subject to closing conditions and is …
Paul Kunert, 25 Jul 2016
A businessman in handcuffs

IT boss 'set up fake companies to charge his employers $2.4m'

A former lead systems engineer with a US software development company has been accused of laundering $2.4m (£1.8m) in an IT consulting scheme. The office of the Texas Attorney General has filed 11 counts of fraud and money laundering against Albert Shih-Der Chang, who worked at One Technologies, a Dallas-based firm that …
Shaun Nichols, 22 Jul 2016
Dell e-commerce site

Revealed: How Dell can afford $67bn for EMC – by selling $650k laptops

World exclusive Dell's ingenious strategy for financing its audacious $67bn acquisition of EMC is a secret no more. Dell is already facing a staggering debt mountain to fund the takeover. Now a crack Reg investigative team can reveal that the Round Rock computing giant has an ambitious plan in place to raise the cash necessary for the deal …
Shaun Nichols, 22 Jul 2016
Twilight Zone, 'Time Enough At Last'

Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

Microsoft's free Windows 10 upgrade offer runs out this Friday, 29 July 2016, one year after the initial release, and a few days before the Anniversary Update. "This is more than a one-time upgrade: once a Windows device is upgraded to Windows 10, we will continue to keep it current for the supported lifetime of the device – …
Tim Anderson, 22 Jul 2016
Woman looking sceptical. photo by shutterstock

They kept that quiet. PC sales via distributors DID rise in Q2

It is a Friday and El Reg is pleased to be able to answer the burning question on the lips of readers across the land - just how did PC sales via distribution do in the second quarter? They went well. Though retailers and wholesalers bought in stock conservatively, as recorded by Gartner and IDC, channel analyst Context …
Paul Kunert, 22 Jul 2016

The cloud ain't making it rain for Intel right now: Tech giants pause server chip sales

Analysis Intel's stock price fell on Wednesday after it became clear the processor maker is not selling quite as many server processor chips as investors had hoped. The Silicon Valley giant reckons its CPU sales into data centers will hit double-digit growth by the end of the year. So far, with half the year gone, we're staring at mid- …
Chris Williams, 21 Jul 2016
brexit_crashing_pound_currency

ASUS first Asian PC maker to warn of price hikes... in 2.5 months

Exclusive ASUS has confirmed the UK list price of computers are expected to rise on average by nine per cent in the Christmas quarter due the weakening of the British pound versus the US dollar. Unlike American rivals Dell and HP Inc, the Asian PC makers have been far slower to react to currency swings, with Lenovo and Acer still unable …
Paul Kunert, 19 Jul 2016
Woman at gym lifts weights with arms. Photo by Shutterstock

Softbank promises stronger ARM: Greater overseas reach and double the UK jobs

Brit-tech success poster child ARM holdings is to be acquired by Japanese telecom multinational Softbank. ARM, whose chip designs drive the majority of the world’s smartphones, is under offer for a remarkable £24.3bn - a premium of 43 per cent over current stock price. Softbank, whose last yearly revenue totalled 19.5 …
Gavin Clarke, 18 Jul 2016

Windows 10 a failure by Microsoft's own metric – it won't hit one billion devices by mid-2018

When Windows 10 launched, Microsoft claimed it would have the new operating system on a billion devices by mid-2018. That isn't going to happen, however, Redmond has now admitted. For the past year, Microsoft has offered the new OS as a free upgrade for both desktop and mobile users (provided the phone can handle it in the …
Iain Thomson, 15 Jul 2016
Upset man in suit and drinking liquor. Photo by Shutterstock

One in five consumers upgraded to Win10 for free instead of buying a PC

Microsoft’s free upgrade of Windows 10 hit PC makers where it hurt though the extent of this was apparently a surprise to the software giant, data druids at Gartner have claimed. According to a survey by the holders of the Magic Quadrant, one in five consumers that upgraded to the free version of the OS decided they didn’t …
Paul Kunert, 15 Jul 2016
recruitment_hired

Dell and EMC name the captain who'll run their $36bn channel biz

Dell has chosen one-time AMD exec and its current veep of sales John Byrne to head up its near-$36bn turnover global channel biz, once it has swallowed EMC in the coming weeks. The $67bn buy of the storage giant is due to close late in July or early August, sources close to the situation told us, when the enlarged organ will …
Paul Kunert, 13 Jul 2016
Stranded_ships

Falling PC tide strands Seagate's disk drive boats. Will WDC follow?

Comment Seagate has announced its latest quarterly results will be unexpectedly good but there will be employee bloodshed. Another 6,500 layoffs on top of the 1,600 announced in June will take place. WDC did say it was cutting 507 US staff in June but these are the tip of an expected iceberg, which will see thousands of positions …
Chris Mellor, 12 Jul 2016
Smashed computer

Apple crumbles: Mac sales slump while Dell, HP Inc, Lenovo shift PCs

Apple was the biggest loser in a Q2 that saw PC shipments down across the board. Research house Gartner reports that on the year-ago quarter, global shipments fell by 5.2 per cent overall, though the North American market showed some signs of life with a modest 1.4 per cent gain. Globally, Lenovo remained the single biggest …
Shaun Nichols, 12 Jul 2016
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

Seagate defrags 14% of workforce: 6,500 axed

Seagate is cutting 6,500 staff, or 14 per cent of its 46,000-strong workforce, across Asia, Europe, the Middle East and the Americas. Those losing their jobs will shown the door over the next 12 months; the redundancies will cost the hard drive maker US$164m. These layoffs are on top of the 1,600 heads put at risk at the end …
Chris Williams, 11 Jul 2016
The British Pound - Sterling currency tumbles post Brexit

HP Inc: Double-digit bounce due on PC prices next month

HP Inc has blamed the wobbliness of the British pound for a double-digit price hike in the UK due to kick in from the start of next month on all its commercial PC kit – but for some reason the print range is to avoid the upward swing. Sterling has slumped to a 31-year low following the outcome of the EU referendum and some …
Paul Kunert, 11 Jul 2016
sale_648

HPE dumps software biz into the bargain bin

HP Enterprise (HPE) has reportedly begun entertaining offers to sell its software business. A report from Bloomberg cited sources familiar in claiming that CEO Meg Whitman is looking to sell some or all of HPE's software brands, including Vertica, Autonomy, and Mercury. Talks are said to still be in the early stages with no …
Shaun Nichols, 11 Jul 2016
Kevin Turner

Farewell to Microsoft's Sun Tzu: Thanks for all the cheese, Kevin Turner

Kevin Turner’s departure as Microsoft’s chief salesman after 11 years marks the final passing of the Redmond old guard. Chief operating officer Turner - KT, as he was known - was a chief of the old-school corporate kind; sales, marketing and Microsoft’s stores all reported into Turner. His departure is part of a massive sales …
Gavin Clarke, 08 Jul 2016
The revised Start menu in Windows 10 Anniversary

Win 10 Anniversary: 'We're beginning to check in final code' says Microsoft

Microsoft has released build 14383 of Windows 10 Anniversary, for both PC and mobile, in preparation for its public launch on August 2nd 2016. Most "Insider" builds feature a watermark on the desktop, showing the version and build number, but that has gone in this build. "This is because we’re beginning to check in final code …
Tim Anderson, 08 Jul 2016
 Good GCSEs should cost parents a Jesus-phone

RM: School spending on tech is soft, soggy and downright subdued

School spending on tech remains “subdued”, according to specialist education supplier RM at the half-way stage of its fiscal year 2016, ended 31 May. Revenue slid 3.8 per cent year-on-year to £76.8m, but excluding the disposal of SpaceKraft, which made sensory learning devices for children with special needs, sales fell 1.4 …
Paul Kunert, 04 Jul 2016

Seagate axing 1,600 staff amid PC sales slump

Seagate is flinging about three per cent of the workforce overboard to cut its cloth to match crappy PCs sales. The drive maker lodged a filing with the US Securities and Exchange Commission last night that stated a restructuring plan had been approved to “reduce its cost structure”. “The plan includes reducing the company’s …
Paul Kunert, 30 Jun 2016

Dixons, UK's fifth 'emergency service', brushes off Brexit scare stories

Dixon Carphone - which, god help us, wants to become the fifth emergency service in the UK - this morning played down the personal impact of market “volatility” that a post-Brexit vote will “inevitably” cause as it reported bumper profits for fiscal ’16. The retailer said like-for-like group sales edged up three per cent year- …
Paul Kunert, 29 Jun 2016
A man refusing

No means no: Windows 10 nagware's red X will stop update – Microsoft

Microsoft will change the controversial way it has been force-feeding people Windows 10 upgrades. The Redmond spreadsheet maker said that when someone clicks on the red "X" to close its infamous your-Windows-10-upgrade-is-ready pop-up, they will actually hold off the installation rather than accept it. One-way dialog ... The …
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jun 2016

'I urge everyone to fight back' – woman wins $10k from Microsoft over Windows 10 misery

A California woman has won $10,000 from Microsoft after a sneaky Windows 10 update wrecked the computer she used to run her business. Now she's urging everyone to follow suit and "fight back." Teri Goldstein – who manages a travel agency in Sausalito, just north of San Francisco – told The Register she landed the compensation …
sale

Intel mulls sale of Intel Security – reports

Opinion Intel is reportedly looking to offload its Intel Security arm. The IT giant is investigating options for Intel Security cyber security business, the FT reports. These options include selling off the security software business formerly known as McAfee that the chip-maker bought for $7.7bn back in August 2010. Intel is yet to …
John Leyden, 27 Jun 2016
angry_woman_mobile_cropped_648

Dev boss: What will Microsoft do with Windows 10 Mobile? Surprise – it's for work!

One of the puzzles about Microsoft’s platform in 2016 is Windows 10 Mobile. In the run-up to the launch of Windows 10 in July 2015, the plan seemed to be that a unified operating system across PC and mobile, combined with applications developed for the Universal Windows Platform (UWP), would boost Windows Phone and create a …
Tim Anderson, 24 Jun 2016

Gartner: Brexit to wipe $4.6bn off tech spending in Blighty

BREXIT Crystal ball strokers at Gartner have calculated Brexit will wipe $4.6bn off the value of tech spending in the UK this year, and the resulting Sterling currency volatility will force US vendors to hike prices. Gartner hit the emergency button this morning following the vote, and re-forecast earlier projections from 1.7 per …
Gavin Clarke, 24 Jun 2016
shutterstock_184661174

Dell tempts hordes with MASSIVE DISCOUNTS on PCs

Dell is charming PC punters with a promo and the reaction is much the same as that of the ambassadors' guests when they were handed spherical balls of hazelnut goodness in the Ferrero Rocher ads. A Reg reader who is helping to prop up the PC industry by buying one, chanced upon the latest hot promo for an Inspiron 15 5000 …
Paul Kunert, 22 Jun 2016
Horses stampede, image via Shutterstock

Plump Dell lays its table for the upcoming HPC Stampede

Michael Dell is getting out the good china as his firm prepares to dine on a slice of the world's supercomputer market. Dell’s PC and server shop has rolled out a series of High Performance Computer Systems targeting applications in life sciences, manufacturing and research. They are: the HPC System for Life Sciences, …
Gavin Clarke, 21 Jun 2016

Opinion

Baby looks taken aback/shocked/affronted. Photo by Shutterstock

Kat Hall

Plans for 2 million FTTP connections in next four years 'not enough'
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella
Stranded_ships

Chris Mellor

Thousands of layoffs announced as spinning rust enters its death spiral

Features

STRASBOURG, JUNE 29, 2016: The seat of the European Parliament. by Marco Aprile for shutterstock. EDITORIAL USE ONLY
Plan b, image via Shutterstock
EU workers, new markets: post-Brexit pressure on May & Co
Tough question, pic via Shutterstock
Honest mistake with your licensing? Audit police look at it on a 'case by case basis'