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Househusband: Man in apron wields broom. Image via Shutterstock

EMC moves into Dell house: Where'd I put the spoons?

Comment We've learnt how the EMC organisation has been fitted into its new Dell house, at least at a top exec and product level, and here is an org chart set to show what we believe we know. At the top is Dell Technologies, and that's split into seven product area entities. Dell Client Solutions is the notebook and PC business unit. …
Chris Mellor, 21 Oct 2016
Man throws briefcase in the air happily on the beach. Photo by Shutterstock

Hewlett Packard Enterprise gives UK boss control of Ireland

After three decades at or near the top of HPE’s Irish ops - latterly the standalone Enterprise organisation - Martin Murphy is to leave the business by the end of February, El Reg can confirm. In a memo to staff, recently installed UK and Ireland managing director Marc Waters, said Murphy had “decided to leave HPE at the end …
Paul Kunert, 21 Oct 2016
AMD CEO Lisa Su speaking at the firm's 2015 financial analyst day

AMD is a rounding error on Intel's spreadsheet and that sucks for us all

On Tuesday, Intel said it expects to bank in the final quarter of the year $15.7bn in sales, plus or minus $500m. That's a billion-dollar swing. Two days later, on Thursday, AMD proudly revealed that its entire revenue for the three months to September 24 was $1.3bn. Just over a billion dollars. AMD is little more than …
Chris Williams, 21 Oct 2016
Satya Nadella

Microsoft kinda did OK this quarter – but whatever, Wall Street loves Satya Nadella

Microsoft's first-quarter results for its 2017 fiscal year reveal a four per cent year-on-year fall in profit and 10 per cent dive in operating income. Just before the quarterly results were announced, Microsoft's stock was down about half a per cent to $57.25 a share. Then when the figures landed, and despite the fall in …
Iain Thomson, 21 Oct 2016

EU legal eagle: Euro court should review Intel's €1.6bn fine

An EU High Court Advocate General has recommended a review of the case that saw Intel slapped with a record fine after it was found to have coerced OEMs to avoid using rival companies' x86 CPUs. Back in 2009, the EC imposed a €1.06bn penalty - 4.15 per cent of Intel's turnover - following a multi-year legal battle but …
I quit

The man running HPE's Microsoft Azure biz says shiz this... after eight months

The director Hewlett Packard Enterprise asked to steer its oh-so important relationship with Microsoft to sell Azure and Hybrid IT is set to leave the business after a relatively short time in situ. John Ansell previously ran the firm’s entire channel organisation that was responsible for 70 per cent of the UK P&L account but …
Paul Kunert, 20 Oct 2016

Brexit killed any hopes of growth in global technology spending

IT vendors across the world can blame Nigel, Boris and other pro-Brexiteers for a reduction in the amount of money that will be splashed on tech in 2016, at least that’s where mages at Gartner have laid the blame. Customers are expected to cough $3.387 trillion on IT this calendar year, which if correct - and it's a big if - …
Paul Kunert, 19 Oct 2016

Here's how much HP's 3-in-1 PC replacement will cost you

HP Inc has disclosed pricing for HP Workspace, the Windows app-streaming service that allows its new Elite x3 business phone to fully replace a PC. Although Universal apps on Windows 10 mobile apps can adapt to run fullscreen with a keyboard and mouse, Workspace is needed to run legacy Win32 apps, which don’t run natively on …
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Oct 2016

Lenovo be Nimble, Lenovo be quick, inks deal to take on Dell EMC kit

Lenovo, which has huge ambitions in the storage market, has sealed a partnership deal with Nimble and will be selling Nimble's all-flash array and using its predictive analytics. Nimble Storage was one of the original trio of hybrid storage array vendors that emerged a few years ago - the others being Tegile and Tintri. It …
Chris Mellor, 17 Oct 2016
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

HP Inc to blast more humans from employment cannon

HP Inc - not wanting to be entirely out done by the other half of the business that it split from - is to toss up to another 4,000 workers onto the employment bonfire, and the ailing PC and printer market is to blame. Confirmation of the “approved restructuring plan” was outlined last night in an SEC filing, it will be …
Paul Kunert, 14 Oct 2016
Child in shock in front of computer. Photo by Shutterstock

Marmite's not the only national treasure hit by Brexit. Will someone think of the PCs?

Marmite-aggeddon? Blame Brexit. The implosion of the UK’s Labour Party? Blame Brexit (more so leader Jeremy Corbyn). Now it seems analysts want to put the sickly British PC market onto the list of things gone awry. The crystal ball-strokers at Gartner have forecast weak demand for traditional client devices for 2016 - …
Paul Kunert, 14 Oct 2016
I quit

Lenovo big cheese walks

Lenovo exec and its one-time UK boss Dave McQuarrie has upped sticks after years aboard the Chinese PC maker with HP Inc tipped to be his next destination. McQuarrie ran the EMEA notebook division when he joined from Dell in 2008, before taking on other senior posts; chief operating officer; Western Europe veep of SMB, …
Paul Kunert, 13 Oct 2016

Will Microsoft's nerd goggles soar like an Eagle, or flop like a turkey?

Analysis Stone the crows! Rather than copying the early market leaders - as it has traditionally done - the modern era Microsoft is showing signs of calling trends correctly well in advance. Only last week we were congratulating Microsoft on being the only platform provider to correctly call the wearables trend. That allowed it to …
Andrew Orlowski, 12 Oct 2016

WD flashes first SanDisk drives: Blue and Green

WD has produced Blue and Green branded SATA SSDs, based on SanDisk technology, with these brands having been used for WD disk drives previously. The Green brand is for secondary storage, being reliable, cool and eco-friendly whilst Blue products are built for PC primary storage use. Other WD brand colours include Black for …
Chris Mellor, 12 Oct 2016
Falling profits

PC sales sinking almost as fast as Donald Trump's poll numbers

New data from analyst outfits IDC and Gartner suggest the PC market continues to crater. The latter firm's 3Q2016 data records an eighth consecutive quarter of shipment decreases, to 68.9 million units or a 5.7 per cent decline from the third quarter of 2015. IDC found “nearly 68 million units in the third quarter of 2016 ( …
Simon Sharwood, 12 Oct 2016
Microsoft monopoly

Windows updates? Just trust us, says Microsoft executive

Interview At Microsoft's recent Ignite event in Atlanta, The Reg sat down with Brad Anderson, Corporate Vice President of Enterprise Client and Mobility. Brad Anderson is a Microsoft veteran who oversees how Windows and mobile devices are managed in business. A decade ago it was simple: firewall-protected network, Windows PCs, and …
Tim Anderson, 07 Oct 2016
Slippery slope sign

Fujitsu to staff: Toe the party line over this PC sale talks story

Fujitsu might well be talking to interested parties, including Lenovo, about offloading its withering PC business but has asked staff to maintain the party line on its “absolute commitment” to customers. The Japanese HQ’d organisation yesterday issued a statement following reports in the Nikkei Asian Review that it was locked …
Paul Kunert, 07 Oct 2016

Device-as-a-Service to make life simple? Nope

Canalys Channels Forum 2016 There isn’t much mystery in PCs these days - and not much margin either - but that could all be about to change if HP Inc’s prophecy on the bewildering range of payment options for device services proves right. The firm rolled out out a “from birth to burial” device-as-a-service package for customers in the summer and it is …
Paul Kunert, 07 Oct 2016

Fujitsu in talks to bail from PC market, Lenovo one of the suitors

Fujitsu has become the latest sub-scale PC maker to consider exiting the client market amid ongoing talks with potential buyers including Lenovo. The Japanese giant reacted to a report in the Nikkei Asian Review this morning that put Lenovo, the world’s biggest shifter of PC tin, as the leading candidate to gobble the business …
Paul Kunert, 06 Oct 2016
Sleeping man on couch with a beer , popcorn and a food-stained vest. Photo by Shutterstock

HPE is mulling 'tuck-in' buys of cloud firms, gros fromage says

Hewlett Packard Enterprise is sat on pile of cash that will be used to fund “tuck-in” buyouts, with cloud services a potential hunting ground, the company’s number two has told The Register. Antonio Neri, also exec veep and GM for the Enterprise Group, said the major structural work that has seen the PC and print units spun …
Paul Kunert, 04 Oct 2016
Michael Dell, photo: Dell

Cloud will NOT eat the tech industry, Michael Dell declares

Canalys Channels Forum 2016 Michael Dell shrugged off the threat from the public cloud this morning, suggesting that many users will eventually realise running a server on Amazon is a lot more expensive than actually owning one. The Dell Technologies chairman, speaking on stage at the opening of the Canalys Channels Forum EMEA, said the current hype …
Joe Fay, 04 Oct 2016

Lenovo exec: Nope, not building Windows Phones

Canalys Channels Forum 2016 Lenovo will not build smartmobes running on Microsoft’s Windows operating system because it doubts the software giant’s long term commitment to the market. This is the view from Lenovo’s chief operations officer Gianfranco Lanci, who told attendees at the Canalys Channel Forum 2016 that Windows 10 was generating interest in …
Paul Kunert, 04 Oct 2016
Cheque, photo via Shutterstock

Microsoft paid me $650 to scrub Windows 10 from my grandpa's PC, says man

Microsoft has paid the relative of an Alzheimer’s patient for having to scrub his PC clean of Windows 10. Jesse Worley said he'd received a cheque for $650 from Microsoft – seen by The Register – which he told us he'd received after threatening the giant with court action over an unwanted Windows 10 upgrade. Tech consultant …
Gavin Clarke, 27 Sep 2016
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

More Lenovo staffers to be buried in the redundancy pit

Lenovo has told around 1,100 staff they are surplus to requirements as it battens down the hatches following continued weakness in smartphone demand. The Chinese tech giant confirmed the “resource action” will affect “less than two per cent” of the roughly 55,000 people employed worldwide. “The majority of the positions being …
Paul Kunert, 27 Sep 2016
Windows 10 by Anton Watman, image via Shutterstock

Official: Windows 10 has hit the 400 million device mark

Microsoft’s self-installing Windows 10 operating system has reached the 400 million mark, the firm announced at its Ignite conference in Atlanta this week, up from the previous high of 350 million in August. This adoption rate means the firm’s self-imposed target of a billion devices by mid-2018 looks increasingly unlikely, …
Dan Robinson, 27 Sep 2016
The Taj Mahal

You heard right: Huawei's making phones in Chennai

Asian tech giant Huawei is to start manufacturing smartphones in India next month, in a move that could signal China is starting to lose its shine as the world’s low-cost manufacturing sweatshop, with even native companies looking to expand elsewhere. Huawei, which is currently the world’s third largest maker of smartphones by …
Dan Robinson, 26 Sep 2016

Winners and losers: Here's who made the cut for mega TP2 framework

A public sector contracts fat cat and some household PC brands are among the suppliers that failed to directly win a place on a mega pan-government hardware and software framework contract, according to a preliminary list seen by The Register. The Technology Products (TP) 2 agreement, worth up to £4bn over four years, is due …
Paul Kunert, 23 Sep 2016

Windows 10 backlash: Which? demands compo for forced upgrades

Microsoft has been given a roasting by consumer group Which? over Windows 10 woes reported by users, with the organisation calling for compensation for those who found their PCs bricked after auto-updates. Which? said that it had surveyed its members for their experiences with the latest version of Windows, which was released …
Dan Robinson, 22 Sep 2016

Hewlett Packard Enterprise bigwig chuckles at talk of buyout talks

The number two at Hewlett Packard Enterprise has brushed off talk the slimmed-down organisation could be vulnerable to a takeover, as the company is again linked with “possible” buyers - this time around Huawei, Lenovo, Oracle, Cisco and, er, Dell. Antonio Neri, executive veep and general manager for the Enterprise Group, told …
Paul Kunert, 21 Sep 2016

HP Inc's rinky-dink ink stink: Unofficial cartridges, official refills spurned by printer DRM

A Dutch ink seller is accusing HP Inc of deliberately programming its printers to reject refurbished cartridges with a covert firmware update. claims that the PC and printer half of the HP split-up planned months ago to have its printers spontaneously spit out third-party and refurbished cartridges from September 13 …
Shaun Nichols, 19 Sep 2016

HPE EMEA boss confirms shuffling of exec deck

HPE GPC '16 Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s latest EMEA chief has lined up his generals and the divisions they will run from the start of the new fiscal year beginning November. Andy Isherwood, who replaced Peter Ryan as senior veep for the Enterprise Group and MD for EMEA in July, is preparing for life after Enterprise Services and the …
Paul Kunert, 14 Sep 2016
Rotten apple

HP doorsteps Apple shoppers at the altar of dreams

HP Inc GPC '16 HP Inc has launched a new sales tactic to take on Apple - hijacking worshippers of expensive iThings as soon as they step outside the altar of dreams to compare Macs with its slim and light PCs. Taking to the stage of the Global Partner Conference in Boston, Ron Coughlin, HP president of the Personal Systems division, did what …
Paul Kunert, 13 Sep 2016

Dell swings layoffs axe at 3,000 EMC people

Dell is to trim the workforce following its $60bn-plus buy of storage titan EMC, with between 2,000 to 3,000 heads expected to roll. But if sales don’t track to management expectations, sources told us to expect more. A Bloomberg report claimed Dell will seek out $1.7bn in cost savings in the next eighteen months – but it will …
Paul Kunert, 09 Sep 2016
Container image via Shutterstock

Little boxes made of ticky-tacky: What Dell's record-busting $67bn EMC deal means

Dell’s acquisition of EMC is large by several measures: a $67bn purchase price – the most ever paid in tech. The claimed joint revenue for Dell and EMC is $74bn and the current joint workforce is 140,000 – with 40,000 being sales staff. Even the statements as to “why” Dell is buying EMC are big – yuuuge - with Michael Dell at …
Gavin Clarke, 08 Sep 2016
UK pound crashes after Brexit

Brexit? We have heard of this, says Dixons Carphone CEO

The UK's vote to leave the European Union has not dampened UK shoppers’ gadget lust, according to Dixons Carphone, which has reported a four per cent year-on-year hike in Q1 sales for the 13 weeks ended 30 July. The consumer electronics and mobile tech borg, created in 2014, saw sales bounce across the entire group – led for …
Paul Kunert, 08 Sep 2016

Avnet interim CEO gets nod for full-time fun and frolicks

Enterprise tech distie Avnet has confirmed former Lenovo big knob Bill Amelio as its permanent chief exec - like it was ever in any doubt. Amelia rocked up in July and fronted the Q4 conference call with analysts to go over why group turnover was still shrinking and then outlined his get rich quick… well a plan. Cue the …
Paul Kunert, 07 Sep 2016
Michael Dell, photo: Dell

What's Dell brewing the day before its EMC mega-slurp? A latte money? Oh, a flat white

Dell has reported near-flat revenues for its second quarter of the year, up just 1 per cent from its position 12 months ago. The company pulled in revenues of $13.1bn in the three months to July 29, compared to just under $13bn this time last year. This generated an operating income of $63m, up from a loss of $103m 12 months …
Iain Thomson, 06 Sep 2016

Equistone grabs stake in print services slinger Apogee

Private equity investor Equistone Partners Europe has slurped a stake in managed print and document services slinger Apogee Corporation. Maidstone-headquartered Apogee employs around 450 staff across 14 offices in the UK and mainland Europe selling hardware and managed services on kit from Canon, Xerox, Konica Minolta and …
Paul Kunert, 05 Sep 2016
Very colourful For Sale sign (limited offer etc). Photo by Shutterstock

Hewlett Packard Enterprise in talks to offload software, asking for '$8bn to $10bn'

The breakup of Hewlett Packard Enterprise is set to continue with execs locked in talks to offload the software division to private equity biz Thomas Bravo. The asking price is said to be $8bn to $10bn. The sale, reported first by Reuters, would close the curtain on one of HPE’s most embarrassing episodes, namely the …
Paul Kunert, 02 Sep 2016

The survivors: Intel's Apollo Lake netbook CPUs stagger from Goldmont bloodbath

Amid the Kaby Lake noise this week, Intel slipped out six processors, codenamed Apollo Lake, for cheapo netbooks, tablet-laptop mutants and small PC boxes. These are 14nm low-power system-on-chips that use the x86 Goldmont architecture, and are branded Pentiums and Celerons. In April, Intel axed its Goldmont-based Broxton …
Chris Williams, 02 Sep 2016
An artist sketches with Yoga Book

Lenovo's tablet with a real pen, Acer's monster laptop, Samsung Galaxy S3 watch

IFA 2016 August 31st was press day one ahead of the IFA event in Berlin, which means vendors lining up to show off their latest efforts in (mainly) consumer electronics. Acer kicked off the madness, unveiling the "world's first laptop with a curved screen," though you should think twice before letting the 8 kg Predator 21X gaming …
Tim Anderson, 01 Sep 2016
NetApp founder Dave Hitz and SolidFire founder Dave Wright

Solidfire is 'for people who **CKING HATE storage' says NetApp Founder Dave Hitz

VMWORLD 2016 NetApp founder Dave Hitz has apologised to a VMworld 2016 audience for being slow to produce proper flash arrays. In a session on the future of storage he shared with SolidFire founder Dave Wright, Hitz said that work on Clustered ONTAP had consumed more resources and time than the company anticipated, leaving it short of …
Simon Sharwood, 01 Sep 2016

Intel's makeshift Kaby Lake Cores hope to lure punters from tired PCs

Intel's stop-gap Kaby Lake processors – aka the seventh-generation Core family – will ship in laptops starting from September, we're told. According to Chipzilla, the first wave of the new Cores will appear in 10mm-thick notebooks and two-in-one convertible tablets aimed at small businesses and normal folk. The CPUs will …
Chris Williams, 30 Aug 2016

Bloody Dell! Is EMC going to drop its logo? Answers on a postcard to Brentford

Pics Corrective brand surgery seems to be taking place at EMC’s London HQ already – it may be that Michael Dell is so keen to get his hands on the storage giant that he can’t wait for the ink to dry on the deal. Following a tip-off about the changes taking place, El Reg in the UK braved the mean streets of Richmond and Kew to reach …
Paul Kunert, 26 Aug 2016

NHS injects tender for PC and peripherals kit with £500m

The UK's NHS has a £500m budget to burn on PCs, printers and monitors in the latest mega framework tender to be dangled in front of ravenous tech suppliers. A ten lot agreement including desktops, lappies, tabs, peripherals, and warranties has been issued by the NHS Shared Business Services - the joint venture between DfH and …
Paul Kunert, 25 Aug 2016
Smartphone user photo via Shutterstock

iPhone: Apple's Mac battle with Windows rebooted

Apple under Tim Cook has delivered six new makes of iPhone, with a further four derivations based on the overall brand. The future, according to Cook this week, looks an awful lot like Apple’s recent past – especially if you happen to live in India, which is the new China in terms of tech firms looking to tap a vast and …
Gavin Clarke, 19 Aug 2016
Amazon Workspaces on an iPad

Amazon now renting cloudy desktops for $0.22 an hour

Amazon Web Services' “Workspaces” desktop-as-a-service offering can now be paid for by the hour. Workspaces are a cut of Windows Server 2008 with a Windows 7 skin and are consumed with a custom client application. Until today, the service was sold by the month for a fixed price that included storage. That's now called the “ …
Simon Sharwood, 19 Aug 2016

The calm before the storm: AMD's Zen bears down on Intel CPUs

AMD is continuing to drip feed information about Zen, its long-awaited designed-from-scratch x86 processor microarchitecture. Zen is a big deal, or rather needs to be a big deal, for AMD because its previous Bulldozer microarchitecture was, well, bulldozed by Intel's Core series. Thus, AMD needs Zen to succeed in order to win …
Chris Williams, 18 Aug 2016
Girder photo via Shutterstock

Microsoft: Why we had to tie Azure Stack to boxen we picked for you

Microsoft has explained the rationale behind last month’s announcement that you won’t be allowed to simply download Azure Stack and get going. In July Redmond informed fans the only way they’d be able to get Azure in their own data centres would be on hardware of its choosing. Specifically, Azure Stack will only come pre- …
Gavin Clarke, 15 Aug 2016
Asus S1

Mobile malaise drags down Asus Q2 numbers

Asus has reported a double digit slide in net income for the fourth quarter, highlighting that even overtaking Apple in the computer sales stakes is no golden ticket to world domination. The netbooks and bikinis innovator turned in Q2 net revenues of $NT93.9bn (£2.3bn), a 5 per cent slip on the same period last year, results …
Joe Fay, 12 Aug 2016


Frank Jennings

What do you do? Use manual typwriters or live in a Scottish croft? Our man advises
A rusty petrol pump at an abandoned gas station. Pic by Silvia B. Jakiello via shutterstock

Trevor Pott

Among other things, Active Directory needs an overhaul
Baby looks taken aback/shocked/affronted. Photo by Shutterstock

Kat Hall

Plans for 2 million FTTP connections in next four years 'not enough'
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella


League of gentlemen poster - Tubbs and Edward at the local shop. Copyright BBC
One reselling man tells his tale of woe