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Cock fight? Not half. Microsoft beats down Apple in Q1

Microsoft won bragging rights over Apple in Britain’s biz slab sales stakes following the first full quarter the two rivals went head to head with their Pro devices. The iPad Pro, released in last October, sold 107,000 units in the UK in Q1 versus 275,000 Surface Pro devices, which was up on the 83,000 units Microsoft flogged …
Paul Kunert, 23 May 2016
computer_room_channel meeting programme

Cloudy desktops are as mature as cloudy servers … from 2008!

Desktop-as-a-service in 2016 is about as mature as infrastructure-as-a-service was in 2008, so waiting until it matures is more sensible than diving in now. So says Garter for Technical Professionals' analyst Mark Lockwood, who The Register's virtualisation desk beheld yesterday at the firm's Infrastructure Operations & Data …
Simon Sharwood, 17 May 2016
Tim Cook, photo by JStone via Shutterstock

Tim Cook signs SAP for iOS – SANA app pact

Apple and SAP are partnering to create native iOS apps for the enterprise firm's HANA platform. The pair plan an iOS SDK for HANA Cloud Platform, targeting those building enterprise apps on Apple’s iPhones and iPad using SAP’s platform-as-a-service. SAP will develop native apps using Swift, Apple’s two-year-old programming …
Gavin Clarke, 06 May 2016
Tim Cook

Shares down?! But, but, but ... Apple just made $50bn – that's the way the Cookie grumbles

Apple has confirmed analysts' fears of a drab quarter, reporting its first year-over-year sales decline in more than a decade. Its share price is down 8.2 per cent to $95.76 in after-hours trading – dipping below the magic hundred-buck mark. The Mac maker said that in the three months to March 31 – the second quarter of its …
Shaun Nichols, 26 Apr 2016
Photo by Michael Vadon

Apple stuns world with Donald Trump iPhone

Shy and modest Apple today unveiled a pair of small iPhones and iPads for people with itty-bitty hands. The Cupertino slinger of iStuffs summoned hacks to a brief hour-long conference in California to unveil the four-inch iPhone SE handset as well as a 9.7-inch iPad Pro slab. Both are powered by the now-available iOS 9.3 …
Shaun Nichols, 21 Mar 2016

Microsoft Surface Book: Shiny slab with a Rottweiler grip on itself

Review I've always wondered what people who pay more than £2,000 for a Windows laptop are thinking when they boot the machine. It's a bit like paying a fortune to gain admission to a secret and exclusive members club, only to discover once you're in, that it's run by the bloke who does the pub quiz on a Tuesday night at your local …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Mar 2016
EU egg timer, photo via Shutterstock

SAP backs UK remaining in the EU ahead of vote

Exclusive SAP, Europe’s largest native software firm, boasting annual revenue of 20.8bn euros, has come out in favour of Britain remaining a member of the EU. The industry’s largest maker of business software told The Register that Britain’s membership of the European Union would benefit both sides. Part of the Germany-based firm's …
Gavin Clarke, 11 Mar 2016
Broken record, image via Shutterstock

Nearly all cloud ERP projects will 'fail' by 2018, reckons Gartner

Anybody who thinks cloud ERP is the answer to their monolithic, on-premises vendor pain is wrong – according to Gartner, anyway. Gartner has projected a near 100 per cent fail rate for cloud ERP projects by 2018. Ninety per cent of those rolling out what the mega-analyst has defined as “post-modern ERP” will succumb to the …
Gavin Clarke, 02 Mar 2016
Roambi - Visualizer iPad app

SAP buys 'all the pretty data' firm Roambi

SAP has bought a data presentation specialist to paint its data feeds in a shade more like Salesforce. The software giant this week bought “key assets” of Roambi, founded in 2008 and specialising in mobile BI and analytics. SAP announced the Roambi buy while saying its Predictive Analytics also now works with Spark – the open …
Gavin Clarke, 19 Feb 2016

Apple growth flatlines ... Tim Cook thinks, hey, $80bn is still $80bn

Apple has once again set a high watermark for quarterly revenues and profits, though only by a smidgen – its meteoric rise has otherwise completely stalled. The Cupertino consumer electronics behemoth said that from October through December – Q1 of its fiscal 2016 – it pulled in US$75.9bn in revenues [PDF], leading to an US$18 …
Shaun Nichols, 26 Jan 2016
recruitment_hired

Citrix names former Microsoft exec Kirill Tatarinov prez and CEO

Citrix has appointed former Microsoft exec Kirill Tatarinov President and chief executive officer. Tatarinov spent over eight years as President, Executive Vice President, Corporate Vice President Microsoft Business Solutions Division, overseeing Microsoft's Dynamics CRM and ERP businesses. His LinkedIn profile also records …
Simon Sharwood, 21 Jan 2016
Stanley Kubrick's The Shining

2015's horror PC market dropped nine per cent

PC sales ended 2015 on a low note, according to analyst firms IDC and Gartner. The former firm says 2015's final quarter saw 71,889,000 PCs fly off assembly lines around the world, -10.6 per cent growth compared to the same quarter in 2014. Gartner's numbers are similarly grim: 75.7 million shipped for the quarter, down 8.3 …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Jan 2016

Surface Pro 4: Will you go the F**K to SLEEP?

Review Against all predictions, Microsoft has made a profitable multi-billion dollar business out of a boutique tablet. It has also turned a bog standard commodity Thing - a Windows laptop - into something desirable. And it has done it all without fully answering the question “Why should I have one?” The Surface began life only three …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 Dec 2015
Macbook 2015. Pic: Apple

Apple anoints the new new Steve Jobs

Apple has re-instated the position of chief operating officer (COO), a post last held by current CEO Tim Cook. Jeff Williams has scored the COO's gig, after spending the last few years on top of “Apple’s entire supply chain, service and support, and the social responsibility initiatives”. Apple's bio also says Williams “... …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Dec 2015

Microsoft Office 365, Azure portals offline for many users in Europe

Updated Microsoft's Office 365 service has gone offline for many users in the UK and Europe, though the cause and extent of the outage is not yet known. Neither the Office 365 portal, nor the Azure management portal is available at the time of writing, though Microsoft's status page says everything is fine. Everthing is fine says …
Tim Anderson, 03 Dec 2015
Microsoft Surface 3 Windows 8.1 tablet

Research: Microsoft the fastest growing maker of tablet OSs ... by 2019

Enterprise adoption of Windows-powered computing slabs will make Microsoft the fastest growing tablet computer maker by 2019. That’s according to Strategy Analytics, which reckons Microsoft will hold 18 per cent of the global tablet operating system market in four years – up from 10 per cent now. Android will remain top dog, …
Gavin Clarke, 27 Nov 2015

Apple's Faulty Powers moment: iPad Pro slabs 'temporarily bricked' during recharge

Some Apple iPad Pro owners claim their new jumbo tablets freeze when being recharged. Multiple posts to Cupertino's support forums over the past several days describe how the enormo-slabs stop working when plugged in to a power source, and need a hard restart to revive them. Judging by the message boards, the issue usually …
Shaun Nichols, 17 Nov 2015

What upgrade cycle? Tablet sales crater for fourth straight quarter

Global shipments of tablets have fallen for the fourth successive quarter, according to data from analyst house IDC. In the third quarter of 2015, manufacturers shipped 48.7 million fondleslabs worldwide, down 12.6 per cent year on year. IDC estimates that there are 581.9 million tablets in the world, but that sales growth is …
Iain Thomson, 29 Oct 2015

Apple and Cisco begin to map their corporate desires, apps and all

Canalys Channels Forum Apple and Cisco’s developing corporate love-in – designed to prise open enterprise customers’ wallets as the fruity firm labours to push more of its iStuff into offices – is becoming clearer, as engineers at both companies have locked arms and channel mapping is happening. Milo Schacher, Cisco veep for the EMEA and Russia …
Paul Kunert, 29 Oct 2015

Finally, with W10, Microsoft’s device strategy makes sense

Analysis Microsoft stubbornly refuses to let go of making hardware, but now the reasons why CEO Satya Nadella has not followed his clear instinct to ditch devices (except Xbox) are becoming clearer. We have analysed many times why Microsoft should not make smartphones and tablets, mainly because of conflicts of interest with the OEM …
Wireless Watch, 28 Oct 2015

Apple: We're going to sell $77bn worth of iStuff this holiday season

Apple says it hopes to haul in anywhere from $75bn to $77bn (£48bn to £50bn) over the upcoming holiday shopping season. The Cupertino seller of iThings said the upcoming quarter is on pace to be its best ever, as the company predicts it will edge out last year's $74.6bn Q1 total with an estimated $75-77bn revenue haul for its …
Shaun Nichols, 28 Oct 2015
Apple iPad Air

PEAK FONDLESLAB: Fewer people will use tablets next year – claim

The number of people using touchscreen tablets will decline in the coming year. This according to analysts at ABI Research, who say that the tablet sector is running out of new buyers, and will soon face its first ever decline in use. "The global installed base of branded tablets will peak around 373 million units at the …
Shaun Nichols, 24 Sep 2015
microsoft_clippy_648

Microsoft Office 2016 for Windows: The spirit of Clippy lives on

First Look Microsoft has released Office 2016 for Windows, over two and half years after the launch of Office 2013 in January of that year. The Office team has been busy in the intervening period – and not just with Office 2016. March 2014 saw the release of Office for iPad, including Word, Excel, PowerPoint and OneNote in touch- …
Tim Anderson, 22 Sep 2015
Apple iPad Air

Nice try, Apple. The Maxi Pad is no laptop killer – and won’t scratch the Surface

Apple’s Maxi Pad is no laptop or Surface Pro killer – even though it holds up comparatively well for general workforce usage. This is the prognosis from some in the analyst community and those who will compete against it. The view from the Mac channel understandably differs somewhat. A relatively late market entrant - not …
Paul Kunert, 22 Sep 2015
Non-sleeper

Intel's 6th gen processors rock – but won't revive PC markets

Analysis Intel launched its 6th Generation “Skylake” Core processors at IFA in Berlin last week, and is desperate for you to upgrade your PC. But has the Intel and Microsoft alliance done enough to drive upgrades and new sales? First, a quick recap on what Intel launched. The company announced 48 6th gen Core processors. The line-up is …
Tim Anderson, 11 Sep 2015
storm_warning_648

HP brands Surface distie deal a 'storm in a glass of water'

An HP exec has branded the firm’s decision to sell Microsoft’s fondler in competition to its own portfolio as "a storm in a glass of water". Both HP and Dell are set to peddle the Surface Pro 3 via their direct sales forces and online – a move some channel partners described as confusing and a cause of potential portfolio …
Paul Kunert, 10 Sep 2015

Apple's iPad Pro: We're making a Surface Pro WITH A STYLUS over Steve Jobs' DEAD BODY

Pics With the announcement of the 12.9-inch MaxiPad iPad Pro, Apple has finally mounted its challenge to Microsoft's Surface Pro. Boss Tim Cook announced the iOS-powered enormo-slab Wednesday at a special event in downtown San Francisco before giving way to marketing honcho Phil Schiller, who disclosed the specs and details of the …
Shaun Nichols, 09 Sep 2015
Working Girl film

Apple muscles in on biz world AGAIN – this time with Cisco pact

Apple has inked a deal with networking giant Cisco, as Cupertino beefs up its efforts to pull in more business customers. Financial details of the agreement were kept secret. But the motivation was clear: to make iOS devices work more smoothly on networks that use Cisco kit. Apple said it planned to integrate its iThings with …
Kelly Fiveash, 01 Sep 2015
Acer E series laptops

Acer honourary chairman Shih would 'welcome' takeover bid

Stan Shih, the man who founded Acer and returned to rescue the business when it fell on hard times, would be receptive to a takeover bid but – despite its continued troubles – warned it won’t be sold on the cheap. The Taiwanese PC-maker’s honorary chairman told local press that he would “welcome” such a move, as Reuters …
Paul Kunert, 27 Aug 2015
shutterstock_101821642

IBM and Apple sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g e-n-t-e-r-p-r-i-s-e b-u-y-e-r-s

IBM is once again pushing its software-for-suits in tandem with Apple. Big Blue said it will sell its enterprise customers Mac desktops and notebooks pre-loaded with its IT management software and services. The bundles are aimed at helping IT departments integrate Macs with their current software platforms. Under the new …
Shaun Nichols, 05 Aug 2015
4 arrows signs in arrow on wooden wall

Apple goes to crapple in stock plunge kerfaffle: $113bn wiped off in days

Peak Apple Apple is in the midst of a stock drop that has caused the Cupertino giant to lose as much as $113bn in market cap. Since posting its last quarterly numbers, Apple (Nasdaq:AAPL) has seen its stock price drop from $125.22 per share to a low point of $112.10. Wary that Apple's meteoric growth from recent years is slowing down as …
Shaun Nichols, 05 Aug 2015

No, Microsoft: Your one-billion Windows 10 goal is just sad ... really sad

Comment Targeting one million of anything is no longer cool, according to Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg. Only one billion will do. It's not surprising, therefore, that Microsoft has set itself a billion-device goal for Windows 10. What is surprising is just how unambitious that goal is, given the computing giant's aspirations. Indeed, …
Matt Asay, 31 Jul 2015
Windows 10 with its revived Start menu

Windows 10: THE ULTIMATE GUIDE to Microsoft's long apology for Windows 8

Review Take a deep breath. This is it, the big one: Microsoft has released Windows 10, which will make everything good again after Windows 8. Windows 10 is distinctive for several reasons. First, it introduces the "Windows as a service" concept, in which most users will automatically receive incremental updates with both feature and …
Tim Anderson, 29 Jul 2015
Steve Ballmer. Pic:  Aanjhan Ranganathan

Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Analysis Less than two years into Satya Nadella's tenure as CEO of Microsoft, he's already had to report a lossmaking quarter. It's only the second time that's happened in the software giant's three decades as a public company, and the $8.44bn write-off Redmond posted earlier this week is the largest in its history. Don't blame Nadella …
Neil McAllister, 27 Jul 2015
Scrooge McDuck

BREAKING NEWS: Apple makes money

Apple has kept up its record pace, posting a third-quarter profit of $10.67bn (£6.43bn), up 38 per cent year on year, from revenues of $49.6bn (£31.8bn). The Cupertino giant said it flogged 47.5 million iPhones in what was its best-ever third fiscal quarter performance [PDF] to date. Revenues from the three-month period to …
Shaun Nichols, 22 Jul 2015

Yes! Windows Phone lives: Microsoft to pump the device Kool-Aid

WPC 2015 Microsoft will this week try to convince thousands of partners to invest in Windows Phone despite taking the axe to its hardware manufacturing operation. “Windows Phone is and will continue to be an important component of our hardware portfolio,” Phil Sorgen, chief of Microsoft’s worldwide partner group told The Channel, …
Gavin Clarke, 13 Jul 2015
WWDC demo of El Capitan

Everything Apple touted at WWDC – step inside our no-hype-zone™

WWDC 2015 Apple kicked off the 2015 Worldwide Developer Conference (WWDC) in San Francisco on Monday by revealing three new OS releases due out by the end of 2015. Here are some of the key points from the introductions of OS X El Capitan, iOS 9 and WatchOS 2 – without all the usual dreadful hype that surrounds these sorts of PR events. …
Shaun Nichols, 08 Jun 2015

Tech disties: What the HELL happened to our sales growth in Q1?

Tech disties’ sales growth across Europe almost halved in Q1 as the XP migration factor ran out of steam, PC business dwindled and weaker demand for Apple slabs and IBM big iron came to bear. The quarterly figures – based on sales-out data from the suppliers – collated by Context’s SalesWatch tracker, indicate turnover from the …
Paul Kunert, 11 May 2015
apple mac malware vxer

Ex-NSA security bod fanboi: Apple Macs are wide open to malware

A former NSA staffer turned security researcher is warning that bypassing typical OS X security tools is trivial. Patrick Wardle, a former NSA staffer and NASA intern who now heads up research at crowd-sourced security intelligence firm Synack, found that Apple's defensive Gatekeeper technology can be bypassed allowing unsigned …
John Leyden, 07 May 2015
Apple iPhone 6 and 6 Plus

MONSTROUS iPhone sales are CANNIBALIZING iPads, gabbles Apple CEO

Apple countered soaring iPhone and Mac sales with yet another doleful quarter for the iPad in its second quarter of fiscal year 2015. The Cupertino giant logged Q2 revenues of US$58bn (£38bn, AU$73.9bn), up 27 per cent over US$45.6bn in the same period last year. Earnings per share (non-GAAP diluted) of US$2.33 beat analyst …
Shaun Nichols, 27 Apr 2015

BOXing clever: Data biz embiggens sales - then its shares slump

Box, the freemium business data sharer, saw satisfying revenue growth and controlled losses for its fiscal 2015 fourth quarter and full year, although it disappointed analysts, whose comments prompted a 17 per cent share price fall. Highlights: Q4 FY 2015 revenue was $62.6m, up 61 per cent from $38.8m a year ago Q4 FY 2015's …
Chris Mellor, 12 Mar 2015
Nokia Lumia 625 displaying Office app

Microsoft opens Office storage back end for iOS love

Users of Microsoft’s Office on iPhone and iPad could now store their vital documents on Apple’s cloud. Microsoft said on Tuesday that it would allow third-party cloud storage providers to integrate natively with the locations picker of iOS Office apps. It didn’t name iCloud, but the implication is clear – all that’s needed now …
Gavin Clarke, 18 Feb 2015
Satya Nadella

Satya Nadella, Year One: Has Microsoft's new CEO cut the mustard?

One year ago, on February 4, 2013, Microsoft's board of directors appointed Satya Nadella the third chief executive in the company's history. So what do we have to show for it, so far? Nadella's predecessor, Steve Ballmer, wasted no time in taking his hands off the wheel in Redmond, even going as far as to resign his seat on …
Neil McAllister, 05 Feb 2015
iPad Psycho image

Windows is TAKING the TABLET market... what's left of it, anyway

Just as demand seriously cools for tab tech, with all of the major makers reporting shrinking sales, there’s a certain little-known upstart in Redmond that is gradually making some progress against the giants. You guessed it: Microsoft is actually boosting tab shipments, albeit off a comparatively small installed base, with two …
Paul Kunert, 03 Feb 2015
Toshiba Encore Windows 8.1 tablet

Windows tablet price war FINALLY has 'em prying open wallets

Microsoft is, er, fighting back in the UK tab tussle stakes after grabbing market share from OS rivals, although the small victory could be seen as a bit hollow. According to Q4 tech distie sales data compiled by Context, a little over 120,000 Windows 8/8.1 fondleslabs were shifted to customers - 8.3 times more than the …
Paul Kunert, 28 Jan 2015
Apple Watch

Horrifying iPhone sales bring Apple $18bn profit A QUARTER

Apple chief exec Tim Cook has said his company's smartwatch won't go on sale until April – not that he's too fussed about the delay, given Apple has banked $18 BILLION in profit since October. Speaking during the iPhone giant's quarterly earnings call, Cook narrowed down the date, pushing the boundaries of the "early 2015" …
Shaun Nichols, 28 Jan 2015
Nokia Lumia 830 group

What's that, Microsoft? Yep, a Lumia and Surface SALES BOOM

Microsoft shipped a record number of Lumia smartphones in the final quarter of calendar year 2014, as Surface revenue finally started to make an impression. Microsoft reported that 10.5 million Lumias shipped, the most in a quarter, on the strength of low-cost devices. However, to put that in perspective, Samsung sold over 78 …
Andrew Orlowski, 27 Jan 2015
Windows 10

FIVE Things (NOT 10: these are REAL) from the WINDOWS 10 event

Analysis Microsoft offered a teaser of its work across its three main platforms yesterday, enough to give us an insight into how well Operation Relevance is going. It’s very much a work in progress. Here are the five key points on Windows 10 and the accompanying strategy. 1. 'Please come back to Windows 10 – for free' The challenge is …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 Jan 2015
Genie

Will fondleslab's fickle finger of fate help Windows 10?

Just two and half years ago Microsoft dropped Windows 8 on the world, playing Redmond’s card in the touch-tablet game against Apple’s iPad and Google’s Android. Windows 8 was remarkable for three reasons: the touch-inspired Metro interface, the fact Microsoft built its own-branded tablet running Windows, and it put Windows on …
Gavin Clarke, 21 Jan 2015
Hand screwed to a cross

Microsoft turns the power of FINE PRINT onto enterprise licensing

New wording in Microsoft’s enterprise licensing agreements could see customers forced to pay more to Redmond while simultaneously jumping through new licensing hoops. Microsoft has re-worked the fine print of the Enterprise Agreement (EA) in a way that confers greater power on its licensing agents to interpret the rules. It has …
Gavin Clarke, 16 Jan 2015

Opinion

Privacy image

Frank Jennings

Two working parties, ministers galore... but data transfer law remains in limbo
EMC_Unity_bezel

Chris Evans

It does simplify the hardware setup, whatever it is
A microscopic view of the biometric shark skin. Pic: James Weaver

Chris Mellor

Do something and stop faffing about in the bush league

Kat Hall

International system in general needs greater transparency

Features

Nerd fail photo via Shutterstock
Shouting match
Single market vs. rest of the world
hacker
Mostly it's financial crime. Here's what all the cool kids' terms mean in English
Apple logo. Pic: Blake Patterson
Plenty of bumps in the 40-year road for Mac makers