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Man throws briefcase in the air happily on the beach. Photo by Shutterstock

Hewlett Packard Enterprise gives UK boss control of Ireland

After three decades at or near the top of HPE’s Irish ops - latterly the standalone Enterprise organisation - Martin Murphy is to leave the business by the end of February, El Reg can confirm. In a memo to staff, recently installed UK and Ireland managing director Marc Waters, said Murphy had “decided to leave HPE at the end …
Paul Kunert, 21 Oct 2016
Satya Nadella

Microsoft kinda did OK this quarter – but whatever, Wall Street loves Satya Nadella

Microsoft's first-quarter results for its 2017 fiscal year reveal a four per cent year-on-year fall in profit and 10 per cent dive in operating income. Just before the quarterly results were announced, Microsoft's stock was down about half a per cent to $57.25 a share. Then when the figures landed, and despite the fall in …
Iain Thomson, 21 Oct 2016

EU legal eagle: Euro court should review Intel's €1.6bn fine

An EU High Court Advocate General has recommended a review of the case that saw Intel slapped with a record fine after it was found to have coerced OEMs to avoid using rival companies' x86 CPUs. Back in 2009, the EC imposed a €1.06bn penalty - 4.15 per cent of Intel's turnover - following a multi-year legal battle but …
I quit

The man running HPE's Microsoft Azure biz says shiz this... after eight months

The director Hewlett Packard Enterprise asked to steer its oh-so important relationship with Microsoft to sell Azure and Hybrid IT is set to leave the business after a relatively short time in situ. John Ansell previously ran the firm’s entire channel organisation that was responsible for 70 per cent of the UK P&L account but …
Paul Kunert, 20 Oct 2016

Brexit killed any hopes of growth in global technology spending

IT vendors across the world can blame Nigel, Boris and other pro-Brexiteers for a reduction in the amount of money that will be splashed on tech in 2016, at least that’s where mages at Gartner have laid the blame. Customers are expected to cough $3.387 trillion on IT this calendar year, which if correct - and it's a big if - …
Paul Kunert, 19 Oct 2016

Here's how much HP's 3-in-1 PC replacement will cost you

HP Inc has disclosed pricing for HP Workspace, the Windows app-streaming service that allows its new Elite x3 business phone to fully replace a PC. Although Universal apps on Windows 10 mobile apps can adapt to run fullscreen with a keyboard and mouse, Workspace is needed to run legacy Win32 apps, which don’t run natively on …
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Oct 2016
Dandelion photo by Shutterstock

Cisco's cloud whisperer CTO Zorawar Biri Singh blows free

Cloud whisperer-turned-venture capital influencer Zorawar Biri Singh has floated free of Cisco Systems. The roving entrepreneur who turns corporate heads was brought in as Cisco's chief technology officer for platforms in July 2015. Singh was member of incoming chief executive Chuck Robbins’ new team and arrived as the former …
Gavin Clarke, 14 Oct 2016
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

HP Inc to blast more humans from employment cannon

HP Inc - not wanting to be entirely out done by the other half of the business that it split from - is to toss up to another 4,000 workers onto the employment bonfire, and the ailing PC and printer market is to blame. Confirmation of the “approved restructuring plan” was outlined last night in an SEC filing, it will be …
Paul Kunert, 14 Oct 2016
Child in shock in front of computer. Photo by Shutterstock

Marmite's not the only national treasure hit by Brexit. Will someone think of the PCs?

Marmite-aggeddon? Blame Brexit. The implosion of the UK’s Labour Party? Blame Brexit (more so leader Jeremy Corbyn). Now it seems analysts want to put the sickly British PC market onto the list of things gone awry. The crystal ball-strokers at Gartner have forecast weak demand for traditional client devices for 2016 - …
Paul Kunert, 14 Oct 2016
I quit

Lenovo big cheese walks

Lenovo exec and its one-time UK boss Dave McQuarrie has upped sticks after years aboard the Chinese PC maker with HP Inc tipped to be his next destination. McQuarrie ran the EMEA notebook division when he joined from Dell in 2008, before taking on other senior posts; chief operating officer; Western Europe veep of SMB, …
Paul Kunert, 13 Oct 2016

Rage-making, anxiety-inducing tech distributors: An ode

Sysadmin Blog As vendors don't seem all that interested in selling equipment directly, value-added resellers (VARs), managed service providers (MSPs) and the like must buy our gear from distributors before selling it on to our clients. Oh, not all disties are totally awful. There's always one we can point to and say "I love those guys". …
Trevor Pott, 12 Oct 2016
Falling profits

PC sales sinking almost as fast as Donald Trump's poll numbers

New data from analyst outfits IDC and Gartner suggest the PC market continues to crater. The latter firm's 3Q2016 data records an eighth consecutive quarter of shipment decreases, to 68.9 million units or a 5.7 per cent decline from the third quarter of 2015. IDC found “nearly 68 million units in the third quarter of 2016 ( …
Simon Sharwood, 12 Oct 2016

Device-as-a-Service to make life simple? Nope

Canalys Channels Forum 2016 There isn’t much mystery in PCs these days - and not much margin either - but that could all be about to change if HP Inc’s prophecy on the bewildering range of payment options for device services proves right. The firm rolled out out a “from birth to burial” device-as-a-service package for customers in the summer and it is …
Paul Kunert, 07 Oct 2016

Fujitsu in talks to bail from PC market, Lenovo one of the suitors

Fujitsu has become the latest sub-scale PC maker to consider exiting the client market amid ongoing talks with potential buyers including Lenovo. The Japanese giant reacted to a report in the Nikkei Asian Review this morning that put Lenovo, the world’s biggest shifter of PC tin, as the leading candidate to gobble the business …
Paul Kunert, 06 Oct 2016
Michael Dell, photo: Dell

Cloud will NOT eat the tech industry, Michael Dell declares

Canalys Channels Forum 2016 Michael Dell shrugged off the threat from the public cloud this morning, suggesting that many users will eventually realise running a server on Amazon is a lot more expensive than actually owning one. The Dell Technologies chairman, speaking on stage at the opening of the Canalys Channels Forum EMEA, said the current hype …
Joe Fay, 04 Oct 2016

HP Ink COO: Sorry not sorry we bricked your otherwise totally fine printer cartridges

HP Inc is trying to spin its way out of the mess it created when it decided it would be a fantastic idea to brick unofficial and refilled printer cartridges. Jon Flaxman, COO of the printers'n'PCs chunk of the former Hewlett Packard, confirmed on Wednesday his company really did in fact issue a firmware update in March that …
Shaun Nichols, 28 Sep 2016
editorial only image of Whitehall. Pic Daniel Gale/Shutterstock is doing sod all to break £20bn of locked-in IT contracts

Analysis If IT wasn't perceived to be such a boring topic by Joe Public, the amount the government still spends on expensive clunky technology would be viewed as a national scandal. Across the entire public sector the annual figure has been pegged at around £20bn. No one knows for sure. As long as Whitehall's money is locked into …
Kat Hall, 28 Sep 2016
HP 3D printer

HP Inc: No DRM in our 3D printers, we swear (unlike our 2D ones)

While HP Inc is getting a lot of flack over its DRM lockdown on 2D printing consumables, in the 3D world the company wants to address that it won't be setting the prices on consumables. Speaking at the 50th anniversary party for HP Labs, Tim Weber, global head of 3D materials for the firm, said that HP Inc would not be the …
Iain Thomson, 28 Sep 2016

EFF dinks HP Inc finks in rinky-dink ink stink

The Electronic Frontier Foundation has written to HP Inc demanding it reverse its attempt to prevent any third-party ink cartridges or refilled cartridges from working in its Officejet Pro printers. HP Inc, and many other printer makers, have traditionally sent users a Doomsday warning message when anything but their own …
John Oates, 27 Sep 2016
I quit

Fujitsu UK sales director: I'm off

It is all change at the top of Fujitsu’s product business with UK sales director Kevin Matthews quitting after he struggled to get the revenue dial moving in the right direction, sources have told us. Former HP veteran Matthews signed up to lead the vendor’s direct sales and channel organisation in October. He joined amid …
Paul Kunert, 27 Sep 2016

Winners and losers: Here's who made the cut for mega TP2 framework

A public sector contracts fat cat and some household PC brands are among the suppliers that failed to directly win a place on a mega pan-government hardware and software framework contract, according to a preliminary list seen by The Register. The Technology Products (TP) 2 agreement, worth up to £4bn over four years, is due …
Paul Kunert, 23 Sep 2016

Korean cargo line bailout saves Christmas for tech companies

Bankers have loaned US$100m to Korean shipping line Hanjin, likley saving Christmas for tech companies, distributors and retailers. Hanjin's finances ran aground in late August, when it filed for bankruptcy. That filing meant that the company's 97 container ships and the half a million or so containers they carried entered …
Simon Sharwood, 23 Sep 2016
Larry Ellison photo by drserg via Shutterstock

Oracle's cloud strategy is simple – woo and win the latecomers

OpenWorld Throughout this year's Oracle OpenWorld conference, the company's message has been fairly simple – the database firm is moving to cloud but can offer buyers either on-prem kit, full public cloud, or anything in-between. It's a tempting pitch for those who are somewhat nervous about diving into the cloud with their systems, and …
Iain Thomson, 22 Sep 2016

Hewlett Packard Enterprise bigwig chuckles at talk of buyout talks

The number two at Hewlett Packard Enterprise has brushed off talk the slimmed-down organisation could be vulnerable to a takeover, as the company is again linked with “possible” buyers - this time around Huawei, Lenovo, Oracle, Cisco and, er, Dell. Antonio Neri, executive veep and general manager for the Enterprise Group, told …
Paul Kunert, 21 Sep 2016

Intel drafts in troubleshooting veteran for CFO slot

Intel has hired veteran tech CFO and sometime troubleshooter Bob Swan to take over from long-time numbers supremo Stacy Smith. Swan, or to give him his full press release name, Robert “Bob” H Swan, joins from equity outfit General Atlantic, where he was an operating partner. Stacy Smith, “as previously announced, is taking a …
Joe Fay, 20 Sep 2016

HP Inc's rinky-dink ink stink: Unofficial cartridges, official refills spurned by printer DRM

A Dutch ink seller is accusing HP Inc of deliberately programming its printers to reject refurbished cartridges with a covert firmware update. claims that the PC and printer half of the HP split-up planned months ago to have its printers spontaneously spit out third-party and refurbished cartridges from September 13 …
Shaun Nichols, 19 Sep 2016

Want a Dell printer? Unlucky – they've just stopped selling them

Ahead of the mega-merger with EMC, Dell has decided to quit selling printers as part of its hardware portfolio while its imaging business is being scaled back. Dell's decision to quit the printer business in the EMEA and Asia-Pacific Japan regions was first noted by Stuart Gilbertson over at Consider IT. Gilbertson wrote that …

EMC: King of storage needs to shore up defences

IDC’s latest storage tracker says the enterprise storage market was flat in the 12 months since 2015’s second quarter, but HPE now ties with EMC for first place, with IBM and NetApp in equal fourth place after Dell. EMC (18.1 per cent) lost -5.5 per cent points of revenue share in the year, HPE (17.6 per cent) gained 8.8 per …
Chris Mellor, 19 Sep 2016

HPE EMEA boss confirms shuffling of exec deck

HPE GPC '16 Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s latest EMEA chief has lined up his generals and the divisions they will run from the start of the new fiscal year beginning November. Andy Isherwood, who replaced Peter Ryan as senior veep for the Enterprise Group and MD for EMEA in July, is preparing for life after Enterprise Services and the …
Paul Kunert, 14 Sep 2016
Swiss army knife in cloud

Hyper-converged hyper-contender ZeroStack starts connecting clouds

HyperConverged HyperContender ZeroStack has started connecting public clouds to its on-premises kit. ZeroStack promises the usual “Our beautiful GUI and cunning plumbing means that if you turn on our boxes and go make a cup of coffee there's be VMs running before the cappuccino foam falls” experience. The likes of VMware, VCE …
Simon Sharwood, 14 Sep 2016
Rotten apple

HP doorsteps Apple shoppers at the altar of dreams

HP Inc GPC '16 HP Inc has launched a new sales tactic to take on Apple - hijacking worshippers of expensive iThings as soon as they step outside the altar of dreams to compare Macs with its slim and light PCs. Taking to the stage of the Global Partner Conference in Boston, Ron Coughlin, HP president of the Personal Systems division, did what …
Paul Kunert, 13 Sep 2016

Waters named HPE boss on his 40th b'day

White smoke emanated from the towers at Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s London-based digs yesterday as Marc Waters was ordained leader of UK and Ireland ops. The permanent job offer always seemed on the cards when Waters was made acting MD in July, taking over from Andy Isherwood, who was himself elevated to EMEA boss in a …
Paul Kunert, 13 Sep 2016
Office Space

HP Ink buys Samsung's printer business for a BILLION dollars

HP Inc has agreed to purchase Samsung's printer business for over $1bn, the largest print acquisition in its history. Describing the deal as "accelerating the disruption of the $55bn copier industry" HP Ink expects its acquisition of Samsung's tech will help it replace copiers with "superior" multifunction printer (MFP) …

Double-negative tweet could be Microsoft Surface Phone hint

Microsoft may have just confirmed a Surface Phone via a cryptic tweet. Laura Janet Baker appeared to confirm the long-rumoured flagship via a double negative. It could be the end of the silly season; judge for yourself. Rumours abound that Microsoft will kill off production of its current Lumia range by the end of the year. …
Andrew Orlowski, 09 Sep 2016

HPE crams unloved software down Brits' throats – then charges them $9bn to swallow it

Hewlett Packard Enterprise will eject its non-core software business in what it calls an $8.8bn "spin merge" deal with UK-based Micro Focus. HPE's big data, security, and IT management products – including some of its ex-Autonomy assets – will be spun out into a new company that will merge with Micro Focus. That's a software …
Shaun Nichols, 08 Sep 2016

Dude, you got a Dell lawyer: HPE sues high-flying ex-exec after defection to EMC

HPE is suing a former senior executive who absconded to Dell with a head allegedly full of trade secrets. In a complaint [PDF] filed to the Delaware State Chancery Court, HPE alleges that KC Choi, the departed Vice President of Global Solutions Architecture, violated a 12-month non-compete agreement when he fled to EMC just …
Shaun Nichols, 06 Sep 2016
Very colourful For Sale sign (limited offer etc). Photo by Shutterstock

Hewlett Packard Enterprise in talks to offload software, asking for '$8bn to $10bn'

The breakup of Hewlett Packard Enterprise is set to continue with execs locked in talks to offload the software division to private equity biz Thomas Bravo. The asking price is said to be $8bn to $10bn. The sale, reported first by Reuters, would close the curtain on one of HPE’s most embarrassing episodes, namely the …
Paul Kunert, 02 Sep 2016
VMworld 2016

VMware's vDare: Build more complexity and silos, or virtualize more

VMworld VMware opened its VMworld 2016 conference asking its customers to “Be tomorrow,” a couplet that was introduced at the event's opening keynote with a performance of poetry that felt like the work of a slick self-help spruiker. But VMware might just be onto something here, because it knows that in not many tomorrows, serious …
Simon Sharwood, 31 Aug 2016
An unhappy man

Both HPs allegedly axed people just for being old, California court told

The two offshoots of Hewlett Packard have been hit with a class action lawsuit in the US, accusing the pre-split IT giant of discriminating against older employees during job culls. The suit was filed with the US Northern District Court in San Jose, California, this week by four plaintiffs on behalf of former employees. It …
Shaun Nichols, 25 Aug 2016

Movers and shakers: Execs take a hike from Lenovo and HPE

A couple of industry greybeards at Lenovo and Hewlett Packard Enterprise have quietly packed their bags for a permanent vacation while another vendor old timer has moved to another channel biz. Steve Kendall-Smith, executive director at Lenovo has split after half a decade at the company - he had run the large enterprise and …
Paul Kunert, 25 Aug 2016
Man in tie smashes printer with baseball bat in a field.

Error: Print job 'Money' failed for

HP Inc says it will move forward with its plans to cut costs and refocus its business as it posted better than expected quarterly numbers. For the three months to July 31, Q3 of its 2016 fiscal year, the printers and PCs half of the HP split reported: Revenues of $11.9bn were down four per cent on the year-ago total of $12. …
Shaun Nichols, 25 Aug 2016
Girder photo via Shutterstock

Microsoft: Why we had to tie Azure Stack to boxen we picked for you

Microsoft has explained the rationale behind last month’s announcement that you won’t be allowed to simply download Azure Stack and get going. In July Redmond informed fans the only way they’d be able to get Azure in their own data centres would be on hardware of its choosing. Specifically, Azure Stack will only come pre- …
Gavin Clarke, 15 Aug 2016
Man throws briefcase in the air happily on the beach. Photo by Shutterstock

HPE Software memo: We ARE several senior sales veeps lighter

The global and EMEA sales leaders of Hewlett Packard Enterprise’s software organ – the bit that is in discussions with potential buyers – have each left in the space of a week, insiders have told us. Frank Vella, vice president of worldwide sales who reports to Alan Fudge (himself the number two at HPE Software) exited on 29th …
Paul Kunert, 10 Aug 2016

HPE CEO Meg Whitman endorses Hillary Clinton, dumps on Trump

Hewlett Packard Enterprise CEO Meg Whitman has endorsed Hillary Clinton as the next president of the United States. Whitman penned a statement on Facebook in which she unloaded on Trump. “As a proud Republican, casting my vote for President has usually been a simple matter,” she opens, before saying “To vote Republican out of …
Simon Sharwood, 03 Aug 2016

RM to resell Apple, Lenovo, HP, Dell to YOUR children

With revenues down and education spending stuck in the doldrums, supplier RM has hit upon a novel idea to expand - reselling low-margin kit from the vendors that helped sink its own hardware production line. The one-time system builder powered down its own manufacturing facility in Oxford in late 2013 after mounting losses, …
Paul Kunert, 01 Aug 2016
Microsoft Lumia 640 XL

Microsoft buries the bad Windows Phone news: Mobile sales collapse

Microsoft has revealed how badly its Windows phone business has crashed via paperwork filed with America's financial regulator, the SEC. Nokia was shipping 7.3 million Lumias per quarter when the deal to acquire its phone unit was announced in September 2013. Nokia was shipping over 90 per cent of Windows Phones sold. But in …
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Jul 2016

What's on a road to nowhere? Ingram's Q2 numbers

Ingram Micro outlined progress, or rather lack of it, when it reported calendar Q2 numbers last night and did little to convince financial markets - including Shanghai’s Stock Exchange - that it is a business going places fast. The world’s largest tech distributor said revenue for the three months ended 30 June were down four …
Paul Kunert, 29 Jul 2016

HP awarded £1.95m in reseller grey market fraud case

Hewlett Packard Enterprise was this week awarded £1.95m after a UK High Court judge ruled against reseller minnow International Computer Purchasing over allegations it abused special bid pricing. The US giant told us the successful claim against ICP and director Matthew Archer was for “fraud, conspiracy and inducement of …
Paul Kunert, 28 Jul 2016
Cloudy server conceptual illustration. Photo by Shutterstock

Larry Ellison's Oracle swallows Larry Ellison's part owned Netsuite for $9.3bn

Database titan Larry Ellison’s Oracle is slurping NetSuite - a company he and his family already own a big slice of - for a cool $9.3bn (£7bn) to help him compete better with Salesforce, another firm he part owns. The buy will see Oracle splash $109 per share on the first ever purveyor of software clouds: NetSuite was set up …
Kat Hall, 28 Jul 2016
UK pound crashes after Brexit

Lenovo: Our gear will be 10% more pricey from 1 August

Exclusive Lenovo has confirmed the price of its hardware is going to get more expensive in the UK from the start of next month. It is the latest vendor to react to the downward swing in the value of the British pound vs the US dollar. Confirmation of the double digit price hike – seen by us – was sent to channel partners late last week …
Paul Kunert, 25 Jul 2016


Frank Jennings

What do you do? Use manual typwriters or live in a Scottish croft? Our man advises
A rusty petrol pump at an abandoned gas station. Pic by Silvia B. Jakiello via shutterstock

Trevor Pott

Among other things, Active Directory needs an overhaul
Baby looks taken aback/shocked/affronted. Photo by Shutterstock

Kat Hall

Plans for 2 million FTTP connections in next four years 'not enough'
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella


League of gentlemen poster - Tubbs and Edward at the local shop. Copyright BBC
One reselling man tells his tale of woe