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Kaspersky so very sorry after suggesting its antivirus will get you laid

Kaspersky has apologized for displaying a sexist pop-up advert in its security software. It's not sorry about showing adverts on people's PCs, however. The Russian giant's desktop software suite flings adverts, er, news items about Kaspersky products at users who have already paid for its applications. On Friday, one of these …
Iain Thomson, 29 Jul 2016
Q in James Bond

NATO holds up £2.5bn platter of IT procurement deals: Help yourselves

Anti-Soviet defence pact NATO's IT division wants to award €3bn (£2.5bn) worth of “cyber, air and missile defence” contracts, spanning everything from buying new keyboards to improving space satellites. The NATO Communication and Information (NCI) Agency's bumper pack of potential deals includes a £2bn (€2.5bn) satellite …
Gareth Corfield, 27 Jul 2016

Citrix's GoTo goes to LogMeIn in $2bn merger

LogMeIn has effectively taken over Citrix's unwanted GoTo business. The merger comes after Citrix axed 1,000 staffers in November and threatened to spin off GoTo. The gobble is worth $1.8bn in shares, and effectively puts remote desktop developer LogMeIn in charge of GoTo, Citrix's remote access and conferencing family. …
Chris Williams, 26 Jul 2016
Twilight Zone, 'Time Enough At Last'

Free Windows 10 upgrade: Time is running out – should you do it?

Microsoft's free Windows 10 upgrade offer runs out this Friday, 29 July 2016, one year after the initial release, and a few days before the Anniversary Update. "This is more than a one-time upgrade: once a Windows device is upgraded to Windows 10, we will continue to keep it current for the supported lifetime of the device – …
Tim Anderson, 22 Jul 2016
Woman looking sceptical. photo by shutterstock

They kept that quiet. PC sales via distributors DID rise in Q2

It is a Friday and El Reg is pleased to be able to answer the burning question on the lips of readers across the land - just how did PC sales via distribution do in the second quarter? They went well. Though retailers and wholesalers bought in stock conservatively, as recorded by Gartner and IDC, channel analyst Context …
Paul Kunert, 22 Jul 2016

Official: AMD now stands for Avoiding Miserable Death

AMD fans are over the moon today as their favorite processor designer has sold more chips than expected in the three months to June 25. The Sunnyvale, California, biz beat analysts' estimates on revenue and earnings per share in a billion-dollar quarter that ended in the black rather than the usual red: the Radeon maker banked …
Chris Williams, 21 Jul 2016

The cloud ain't making it rain for Intel right now: Tech giants pause server chip sales

Analysis Intel's stock price fell on Wednesday after it became clear the processor maker is not selling quite as many server processor chips as investors had hoped. The Silicon Valley giant reckons its CPU sales into data centers will hit double-digit growth by the end of the year. So far, with half the year gone, we're staring at mid- …
Chris Williams, 21 Jul 2016
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Microsoft Azure doubles up to $800m a quarter – and is wiped out by dying phone sales

Analysis All eyes were on Microsoft's cloud business today as it published its fourth-quarter and full-year financial results. Amid the numbers, Redmond boasted that its Azure revenues from the quarter were up 102 per cent year-on-year – we estimate the cloud service's revenue to be about $800m in total for the period. Meanwhile, …
Iain Thomson, 20 Jul 2016

Windows 10 a failure by Microsoft's own metric – it won't hit one billion devices by mid-2018

When Windows 10 launched, Microsoft claimed it would have the new operating system on a billion devices by mid-2018. That isn't going to happen, however, Redmond has now admitted. For the past year, Microsoft has offered the new OS as a free upgrade for both desktop and mobile users (provided the phone can handle it in the …
Iain Thomson, 15 Jul 2016
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

Seagate defrags 14% of workforce: 6,500 axed

Seagate is cutting 6,500 staff, or 14 per cent of its 46,000-strong workforce, across Asia, Europe, the Middle East and the Americas. Those losing their jobs will shown the door over the next 12 months; the redundancies will cost the hard drive maker US$164m. These layoffs are on top of the 1,600 heads put at risk at the end …
Chris Williams, 11 Jul 2016
Kevin Turner

Farewell to Microsoft's Sun Tzu: Thanks for all the cheese, Kevin Turner

Kevin Turner’s departure as Microsoft’s chief salesman after 11 years marks the final passing of the Redmond old guard. Chief operating officer Turner - KT, as he was known - was a chief of the old-school corporate kind; sales, marketing and Microsoft’s stores all reported into Turner. His departure is part of a massive sales …
Gavin Clarke, 08 Jul 2016
The revised Start menu in Windows 10 Anniversary

Win 10 Anniversary: 'We're beginning to check in final code' says Microsoft

Microsoft has released build 14383 of Windows 10 Anniversary, for both PC and mobile, in preparation for its public launch on August 2nd 2016. Most "Insider" builds feature a watermark on the desktop, showing the version and build number, but that has gone in this build. "This is because we’re beginning to check in final code …
Tim Anderson, 08 Jul 2016

Avast woos AVG shareholders with $1.3bn buyout offer

Avast is offering to buy anti-virus rival AVG for $1.3bn. AVG shareholders are being offered $25.00 per share in cash, a 33 per cent mark-up on the closing share price on Wednesday. AVG, Avast and rival Avira are the three main players in the market for freebie anti-virus scanners for Windows. All make their money by offering …
John Leyden, 07 Jul 2016
Bin

Atlantis retreats to core VDI software and appliance market

Atlantis Computing, the software house that produced a VDI (virtual desktop infrastructure) offering and then expanded into general virtual server acceleration and on into hyper-converged appliances, is scaling its product line back to workspace software and hyper-converged appliances, with consequent job losses. Its current …
Chris Mellor, 29 Jun 2016

Now Intel swings axe at sales, marketing peeps

Intel has turned its axe on sales and marketing staff as part of its ongoing workforce decimation. In April, Chipzilla announced it will lay off 12,000 employees worldwide – roughly one in ten of its 107,000 staffers – over the coming months as it weans itself off the dwindling desktop computer market. People working on doomed …
Chris Williams, 27 Jun 2016
angry_woman_mobile_cropped_648

Dev boss: What will Microsoft do with Windows 10 Mobile? Surprise – it's for work!

One of the puzzles about Microsoft’s platform in 2016 is Windows 10 Mobile. In the run-up to the launch of Windows 10 in July 2015, the plan seemed to be that a unified operating system across PC and mobile, combined with applications developed for the Universal Windows Platform (UWP), would boost Windows Phone and create a …
Tim Anderson, 24 Jun 2016
Sun shines on the clouds. Photo by Shutterstock

Oracle: Cloud-first for 12.2 update – on-prem world will have to wait

Oracle is cranking up the pressure on customers to consume its wares as-a-service by initially distributing the updated 12.2 database on a cloud-only basis. Talk of the shift - that will prevent the company’s existing installed base of on-premise punters from accessing new multi tenancy functions - was first spotted across the …
Cute Lego keyboard

HDS goes hyper with its latest pile of converged IT Lego blocks

Aiming to stem the Nutanix snd SimpliVity hyper-converged tide, HDS announced the UCP HC V240, its first hyper-converged UCP product, along with the entry-level converged UCP 2000, for its mid-market and enterprise customers. Think of UCP (Unified Compute Platform) systems as being like EMC Vblocks (H-blocks?) and UCP HC boxen …
Chris Mellor, 23 Jun 2016
Intel experience store Taipei

Windows 10 market share jumps two per cent

Microsoft's sometimes hard-ball tactics to get people running Windows 10 look like they're working. All three of the desktop OS market share data sources we track report a nice bump for Win 10 in May. Desktop OS market share March to May 2016 Desktop OS market share March to May 2016. Click here to enlarge There's the …
Simon Sharwood, 03 Jun 2016
Image by Moriz http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-2031842p1.html

Lenovo cries 'dump our support app' after 'critical' hole found

Lenovo is warning users to uninstall its Accelerator support application after it was revealed to have what it says are serious interception vulnerabilities. The company is one of five vendors caught pre-installing dangerously-vulnerable OEM software. Duo Security researcher Mikhail Davidov reported the holes that would allow …
Darren Pauli, 02 Jun 2016

Surface Book nightmare: Microsoft won't fix 'Sleep of Death' bug

Hands-on In its most recent quarterly earnings report, Microsoft highlighted its increasingly popular Surface line as the growth leader in its More Personal Computing line of business. Surface led the category with 61 per cent growth in constant currency, a rise driven by the top products in the line, the Surface Pro 4 tablet and the …
Addison Snell, 27 May 2016
Tabby cat cuddles roll of one-hundred dollar bills. Photo by Shutterstock

Got $130,000 down the back of the sofa? Great. Grab an HP 3D printer

The first of HP Inc’s much-delayed (and cynics might say over-hyped 3D printer) is to hit the market “late” this year – launching into a crowded space with a challenger device the firm hopes will brighten its future. The Jet Fusion 3D 3200 will sell for $130,000 – add another $25,000 for services including post-processing …
Paul Kunert, 17 May 2016
computer_room_channel meeting programme

Cloudy desktops are as mature as cloudy servers … from 2008!

Desktop-as-a-service in 2016 is about as mature as infrastructure-as-a-service was in 2008, so waiting until it matures is more sensible than diving in now. So says Garter for Technical Professionals' analyst Mark Lockwood, who The Register's virtualisation desk beheld yesterday at the firm's Infrastructure Operations & Data …
Simon Sharwood, 17 May 2016
Man with head in the cloud

VMware hikes NSX price, adds cheaper versions

VMware has taken the scissors to its NSX product's feature list to offer versions that won't set back customers quite as much as the full product, at the same time hiking the price of the top version of the product. Pitched at companies that want to create software defined data centres, NSX slips networking and security into …

Intel has driven a dagger through Microsoft's mobile strategy

Analysis Intel’s retreat from mobile chips is one of the biggest disruptions to the Wintel relationship in Microsoft’s 35-year business relationship with the chip giant – if not the biggest of all. There have been tiffs before, but not like this – and it raises serious questions about Microsoft’s mobile investments. Don’t expect rebel …
Andrew Orlowski, 03 May 2016
Nerd fail photo via Shutterstock

Who you callin' stoopid? No excuses for biz intelligence's poor stats

Business Intelligence (BI) systems are designed to turn raw data into useful information, so why don’t they do the job properly? Why do most of them fail so completely to make use of the huge range of capabilities that the analytics world has to offer? Even at the most basic level, they fail catastrophically to take simple …
Mark Whitehorn, 02 May 2016
whitehall road in London. <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-637816p1.html?cr=00&pl=edit-00">Albert Pego</a> / <a href="http://www.shutterstock.com/editorial?cr=00&pl=edit-00">Shutterstock.com</a>

Central gov spent £6.3bn on IT. Nearly half handed to just 3 suppliers

Central government splashed £6.3bn with IT suppliers for the year 2014/15 – with 42 per cent going to just three suppliers, according to government data shared with The Register. Sixty-five per cent of the total figure was hoovered up by 10 suppliers, with HP coming top at £1.2bn, followed by Capgemini at £861m, and BT at £ …
Kat Hall, 29 Apr 2016
IRS

Fancy £200m? Tell HMRC you'll help them sort their IT out

HMRC has put £200m up for grabs by one lucky desktop services supplier as the government body attempts a major – and potentially risky – overhaul of its IT. The taxman is looking for end user devices, application performance monitoring and virtual desktop services. The contract will include overseeing mobile devices, such as …
Kat Hall, 26 Apr 2016
AMD CEO Lisa Su speaking at the firm's 2015 financial analyst day

Hands up, who prayed for AMD? Well, it worked

About a year ago, we asked you to pray for AMD. It's working. AMD has announced a joint venture with a Chinese manufacturer that will churn out server processors using mini-Chipzilla's technologies in the Middle Kingdom. It also said it will bank about $1.5bn from three new games console chips over the next three or four years …
Chris Williams, 22 Apr 2016
Michael Dell, photo: Dell

Dell gives up on vWorkspace virtual desktops

Dell has decided to cease further development of its vWorkspace product, a desktop virtualisation (VDI) tool it acquired along with Quest back in 2012. In a statement sent to The Register's virtualisation desk, Dell said it is “transitioning vWorkspace to maintenance and support of its existing product.” “Current customers …
Simon Sharwood, 20 Apr 2016
Sad man stares glumly over boxed contents of desk. Image via shutterstock (Baranq)

Intel literally decimates workforce: 12,000 will be axed, CFO shifts to sales

Intel will axe 12,000 employees globally – more than one in ten of its workforce – as it moves further away from being a PC chip company. The layoffs are among the biggest into the company's history, and come as PC industry continues to tank harder than Intel expected. The Santa Clara-based biz sees a lot of growth in the …
Chris Williams, 19 Apr 2016
windows 10 microsoft one windows

Windows 10 Mobile races to summer with useful facelift

Say what you like about Microsoft, but it has created a really worthy successor to the Japanese game show Endurance. Microsoft’s perpetual beta test programme “Windows Insider” overnight delivered new code with which to torture the most hardy contestants. The Windows 10 code branch – codenamed Redstone, but formally called “ …
Andrew Orlowski, 15 Apr 2016

Seagate revenue numbers rain on cloud after market misses

+Comment Seagate has issued an early warning that its third fy2016 quarter revenue will be off by $100m from its forecast of $2.7bn. The company expects to report revenue of approximately $2.6bn and non-GAAP gross margin of approximately 23 per cent, for the quarter which ended April 1 – no, this is not a late April Fool joke. The …
Chris Mellor, 15 Apr 2016

Intel restructures financial reporting to 'provide visibility'

Intel has announced that it's going to radically revise the segmentation it uses for financial reports. Chipzilla has announced the template here. It's got nothing to do with trying to highlight better performing segments and isolate its flatlining PC processor segment, really. It's all about providing “visibility into the …
The lift-off of New Shepard

3D printers set for lift off? Yes, yes, yes... at some point in the future

3D printing is still perched on the edge of greatness, industry types insist, but sales are not yet matching the marketing bluster. The latest stats in the shipment stakes arrived on our desks today from the number-crunchers at Context - units sales went up 19 per cent year-on-year in Q4 to 73,012 machines. Some 96 per cent …
Paul Kunert, 05 Apr 2016
Windows 10

Windows 7's grip on the enterprise desktop is loosening

Microsoft last week updated its Windows 10 usage data, claiming 270 million devices now run its newest operating system. We've updated our numbers, too, namely the three sources we use to assess desktop operating system market share. And on our numbers, if Windows 10 is on 270 million devices Windows 7 is on about 750 million …
Simon Sharwood, 05 Apr 2016
Apple logo. Pic: Blake Patterson

Apple Fools: Times the House of Jobs went horribly awry

Apple at 40 Today marks the 40th anniversary of Apple's official establishment. Since 1976, the House that Steves Built has pushed out some of the most beloved personal electronics products in the world. There will no doubt be plenty of articles waxing poetic on the many successes that have dotted the last four decades for the Cupertino …
Shaun Nichols, 01 Apr 2016
 Good GCSEs should cost parents a Jesus-phone

Microsoft announces Windows 10 Anniversary Update coming this summer

BUILD2016 Microsoft has announced an "anniversary update" to Windows 10, set for release this summer. The first release appeared in July 2015. Windows boss Terry Myerson, presenting the update at Microsoft's Build event in San Francisco, said that it is not only for PCs and tablets, but also for phones, Xbox, HoloLens (for which …
Tim Anderson, 30 Mar 2016

Thin client market gets even thinner, down seven per cent in a year

Thin client sales have dipped 6.9 per cent in a year, to just 5.08 million, according to the abacus-shufflers at analyst firm IDC, which says 5.454m devices shipped in 2014. The firm thinks the dip is attributable to economic factors, rather than a loss of interest in thin clients or desktop virtualisation (VDI). Lower public …
Simon Sharwood, 29 Mar 2016
Giant Red Hat shadowman logo in field, with message, "Calling all enterprisers"

Enterprise revenues power Red Hat past $2bn barrier

Red Hat is in the enviable position of having become the first open-source firm to break the $2bn revenue barrier. The Linux spinner has reported full-year revenue $2.05bn, an increase of 14 per cent from subscriptions, training and services. Net income was up 10 per cent to $199m. For its fourth quarter Red Hat reported $ …
Gavin Clarke, 23 Mar 2016
Microsoft Surface Pro 3

One in five PCs will be a tablet with detachable keyboard by 2020

Tablets with detachable keyboards are set to capture a fifth of the PC market by 2020, in Western Europe at least, say the abacus-shufflers at IDC. The firm says Typoslabs, as we prefer to call the devices, accounted for just five per cent of PC sales in 2015. But by 2018 combined sales of typoslabs and pure tablets will …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Mar 2016
Asus Chromebook Flip

Don't fear PC-pocalypse, Chromebooks, two-in-ones 'will save us'

Growing sales of ultra-portables and Chromebooks will help to offset the drop in PC shipments. This according to a report from analyst house ABI Research, which predicts that between 2015 and 2021, notebook shipments will remain steady as Chromebooks and ultraportables (tablet convertible notebooks) take up an increasing share …
Shaun Nichols, 09 Mar 2016

SQL Server for Linux: A sign of Microsoft's weakness. Sort of

Analysis Microsoft is porting SQL Server to Linux, with a private preview available now and full availability “in mid-2017”. This is a big strategic move for the company. Microsoft’s server applications, including Active Directory, Exchange, SharePoint, SQL Server and Dynamics CRM, and the various components of System Center, have …
Tim Anderson, 09 Mar 2016
Windows 10 market share Dec 2015 to Feb 2016

Windows 10 claimed another point of desktop share in February

Windows 10 is still growing, but its rate of growth has flattened to about one per cent of market share per month. El Reg makes that assertion on the basis of our monthly look at three sources of data: the ratings firms Netmarketshare and StatCounter, plus the US government's analytics dump of 90 days of windows-sourced …
Simon Sharwood, 02 Mar 2016
Oranges

HyperFlex hyper boxes – the channel speaks

Cisco Partner Summit Talking to channel sources about Cisco's HyperFlex HCIA, we understand that the four and eight‑node HyperFlex rigs are based on Cisco's UCS C220/C240 chassis, with fabric interconnects included. Apparently, HyperFlex has been scaled out to 64 nodes in testing. Cisco will be leisurely in releasing HyperFlex with node counts …
Chris Mellor, 01 Mar 2016
Dispatchers are vital to co-ordinating on the ground activities

Met Police hands £250m to CSC in IT outsourcing carve-up

The Met Police has handed £250m in contracts to CSC, part of its potentially risky plan to carve up large chunks of its IT in the hope that outsourcers can do a better job. The contracts are for a £155m end user computing deal to provide managed desktop services, storage over the next five years; and a £95m hosting deal to …
Kat Hall, 24 Feb 2016
A cute cat in a jumper waves goodbye.... Pic via Shutterstock

Cisco to call 'last orders' on NetScaler 1000V

It looks like Cisco and Citrix are sorting through their respective record collections, with The Borg putting the Citrix-derived NetScaler 1000V products on its end-of-life list. Even in the high-turnover world of Cisco stock-keeping units (SKUs), the Citrix NetScaler 1000V has had a brief life. The two companies first …
HP Elite x3 and HP Mobile Extender

HP Inc Elite X3: Windows 10 phablet for enterprise-y types

MWC16 HP Inc has unveiled a big bet re-entry into the handheld device market, banking on enterprise’s attachment to the Windows ecosystem to blur the memory of its previous forays and retreats into the space. The vendor will unveil its Elite x3 phablet at MWC, a six inch-high, 7.8mm thick phablet, along with a desktop dock to …
Paul Kunert, 21 Feb 2016
Toshiba SG5 M2

Toshiba rolls out PC-busting monster: 1 terabyte TLC flash SSD

It’s a PC disk drive killer: a 1TB SSD built by Toshiba, using TLC flash, and built with 15nm cell lithography. The SG5 series comes in both M2 and 2.5-inch SSD format and signals a wave of product refreshes as Toshiba's existing 19nm SSD products are changed over to use denser 15nm NAND during the next six to 12 months. With …
Chris Mellor, 17 Feb 2016
Office 365 as seen in the Edge browser

Microsoft Office 365: You don't need 27 floppies, but there is desktop friction

Microsoft would like us to think of Office 365, its hosted email and collaboration service, as “cloud”. And it is in many ways; you can even get all your email and OneDrive-stored documents direct from a web browser. The truth though is that Microsoft has been careful not to disrupt its desktop Office software too much. Most …
Tim Anderson, 17 Feb 2016

Opinion

Baby looks taken aback/shocked/affronted. Photo by Shutterstock

Kat Hall

Plans for 2 million FTTP connections in next four years 'not enough'
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella
Stranded_ships

Chris Mellor

Thousands of layoffs announced as spinning rust enters its death spiral

Features

STRASBOURG, JUNE 29, 2016: The seat of the European Parliament. by Marco Aprile for shutterstock. EDITORIAL USE ONLY
Plan b, image via Shutterstock
EU workers, new markets: post-Brexit pressure on May & Co
Tough question, pic via Shutterstock
Honest mistake with your licensing? Audit police look at it on a 'case by case basis'