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Joe Fay

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Joe Fay is group editor of The Register, and The Channel.
 CRAY-1 on display in the hallways of the EPFL in Lausanne.

Cray explores options for supercomputing-as-a-service

Cray is exploring options to offer supercomputing "as a service", but don’t expect AWS to be offering the venerable vendor’s number-crunching monsters online anytime soon. Rather, the company is looking at ways it can offer its technology as a service, which if nothing else potentially relieves customers of at least some of …
Joe Fay, 27 Jun 2016
Terminator head

Baidu tech chief: AI smart enough to take our jobs, not our lives. Yet

ISC (RotM) Artificial intelligence is about to transform society in the same way electricity did 100 years ago, but researchers are nowhere near producing the sort of self-aware sociopathic systems beloved of sci-fi writers. At least that’s what Andrew Ng, Silicon Valley-based chief scientist at Chinese Web giant Baidu, when he kicked …
Joe Fay, 20 Jun 2016

Queen's birthday honours shower knighthoods and gongs on tech's finest

The UK IT industry was plunged into paroxysms of modesty, humility and genuine self-effacement today, as the PRs got to work in the wake of the Queen’s birthday honours list. Tech luminaries made a good showing this year, from the lower rungs of BEMs and MBEs right up to dizzying heights of knighthoods. On which note, arise …
Joe Fay, 13 Jun 2016

Trad software sales type looking for a break? Atlassian shrugs

Most new companies are likely to opt for cloud-based software, the president of Atlassian said today. And that might just bring a tear to the eye of traditional IT sales bods, given that the company had grown to its $117.9m Q3 revenue off 57,000 companies, without ever having a fleet of besuited sales types. The JIRA and …
Joe Fay, 24 May 2016

Micro Focus spends $540m to add Serena its software brand museum

Micro Focus International is splashing out $540m to scoop up Serena Software – or more specifically, its recurring maintenance revenues, to add to its stable of once great, now slightly dusty software brands. LSE-listed mainframe specialist Micro Focus is simultaneously raising $216m in a placing to help pay for the deal, …
Joe Fay, 22 Mar 2016

Computacenter eyes investment plans for growing cash mountain

Computacenter's centre of gravity shifted eastwards in 2015, as the mega reseller’s German operation fired on all cylinders while its UK box-shifting business sputtered. At the same time, its CEO and chairman both seemed to suggested it could be looking even further afield as it ponders what to do with its enormous cash pile …
Joe Fay, 11 Mar 2016
Toilet roll printed with fake US $100 bills

Bill Gates can’t give it away... Still crazy rich after all these years

Tech billionaires dominate the upper reaches of the Forbes Rich list this year, which proves that while he’s good at many things, Bill Gates just ain’t cutting it at throwing away cash. Gates came in top again, with a whopping $75bn fortune. The second spot is taken by Zara boss Amancio Ortega, with $67bn, while Warren Buffett …
Joe Fay, 02 Mar 2016
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Like those independent DevOps vendors? They might not be for long...

Enjoy those scrappy IOT and DevOps startups while you can, as many will not be able to resist the siren call of cash rich traditional vendors or the stock market this year, 451 Research has predicted. The analyst firm’s Tech M&A Outlook report has predicted “billions in investment” in a number of hotspot technology areas. This …
Joe Fay, 25 Feb 2016
red_hat_648

You say you're an Ansible expert, wise guy? Come and prove it

App automation bods Ansible will launch a formal training and certification program in May, making it a little easier for employers to work out who really does know their onions when it comes to the continuous delivery platform. Companies are reportedly looking for expertise in skills like DevOps, Automation, and Continuous …
Joe Fay, 24 Feb 2016
SAP logo

SAP’s Byzantine licensing leaves its customers feeling exposed

SAP’s complex and “opaque” licensing conditions means the majority of its users think they are exposed to “incalculable” financial risks when third parties dip into their systems. A survey of German SAP user group members by SAM specialist SecurIntegration showed that over half thought they were “possibly” or “very probably” …
Joe Fay, 19 Feb 2016
Plate spinning routine by Henrik Bothe

Cloudbees banks on Jenkins 2.0 to help double revs this year

Cloudbees is looking to build out its services partner lineup as it banks on further growth in the enterprise space this year, when the Jenkins platform it bases its business on finally hits version 2.0. The continuous delivery specialist delivered an update yesterday in which it hailed the signing of 13 new partners in the …
Joe Fay, 29 Jan 2016
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Apple’s retail chief: ‘Touching customers’ key to retail success

Apple’s retail supremo Angela Ahrendts has handed down pearls of wisdom on how to make retail staff feel loved, in a valuable lesson for anyone running customer-facing sales teams. Getting new staff to stay the course in tech sales can often be difficult, with a consequent knock-on effect on the ability to build customer …
Joe Fay, 28 Jan 2016
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Apple's Tim Cook rocks up at Vatican - one week after Schmidt

The leader of one the world’s biggest religions was due to meet the pope today, leaving some Vatican watchers wondering if the pontiff has discovered a new form of Friday self-sacrifice. Apple Tim Cook was due at the Vatican around 11.30 local time for a 15 minute chinwag with Pope Francis. Cook’s visit comes hard on the heels …
Joe Fay, 22 Jan 2016

Puppet Labs guards cash pile, gets chilly over IPO plans

Puppet Labs has laid out plans to scale up its R&D and sales operations, after tapping a credit line and apparently putting plans for a Spring IPO on ice. The IT automation vendor said last May that it expected to hit revenues of around $100m in 2015, and to make a stock market debut this spring. However, while last year saw …
Joe Fay, 20 Jan 2016

2015 chip market battered by everything bar earthquakes and nuclear war

Worldwide semiconductor sales slid last year, as chipmakers were hit by sliding currencies, slumping PC shipments, and supply gluts in key markets. Gartner’s just published take on the 2015 semiconductor market shows overall revenues slipping 1.9 per cent to $333.7bn. Just to really rub it in, this compares to 2014’s 7.9 per …
Joe Fay, 07 Jan 2016
Patrick McGoohan as The Prisoner in "Fall Out"

Assembly of tech giants convene to define future of computing

A flurry of the tech world’s great and good signed up the Cloud Native Computing Foundation yesterday, and kicked off a technical board to review submissions – which will be tested and fattened up on a vast Intel-based “computer farm”. Vendors declared their intent to form the Cloud Native Computing Foundation (CNCF) earlier …
Joe Fay, 18 Dec 2015

IT pros are a bunch of wedding and funeral-dodging sickos

Over 90 per cent of IT staffers have come into work while sick to ensure a project finishes on time, while two thirds have missed a funeral, wedding or similar event due to work-related crises. Given these numbers, one can only conclude that at least some of those missed funerals were for fellow IT workers who insisted on …
Joe Fay, 01 Dec 2015

EU orders Equinix to dump colos in Amsterdam, London and Frankfurt

Equinix will be forced to offload data centres in Amsterdam, London and Frankfurt as the price of EU approval of its takeover of Telecity. The European Commission has given a conditional green light to the £2.3bn deal, which Equinix first announced bid back in May, aiming to add 39 European data centres to its 100-strong US …
Joe Fay, 16 Nov 2015
Broken piggy bank with coins surrounding it. Image via Shutterstock

CSC trumps Capita bid for Xchanging by a whole 10 pence

CSC has confirmed it has thrown its hat into the very small ring of firms bidding to take over Xchanging, offering six per cent more than rival bidder Capita. Capita was left the only bidder for Xchanging earlier this month, when private equity outfit Apollo upped and left the negotiating table. Capita’s 160p per share offer …
Joe Fay, 13 Nov 2015
By Henrik Ishihara licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license.

IT luminaries stranded in tropical paradise with Indian crime lord

Some of the IT world’s finest channel brains and one of the world’s most wanted men were trapped at a conference resort on the tropical island paradise of Bali this week after a local volcano blew its top. Resellers, distributors and vendor channel execs gathered on the island for Canalys’ APAC Channels Forum. Key Note …
Joe Fay, 06 Nov 2015
The new Surface 3

HP boss hopes MS Surface Book will jack up notebook prices

Canalys Channels Forum HP Inc’s boss welcomed Microsoft’s foray into the high-end notebook market this week, if it helped vendors push up price tags across the board. However, Dell big wig Marius Haas gave a chillier welcome to the Microsoft Surface Book yesterday. Dell and HP announced last month that they would both resell Microsoft’s Surface …
Joe Fay, 08 Oct 2015

HP won't squeeze itself into 3D printer consumer market

Canalys Channels Forum HP is on track to launch into the 3D printing market next year, but don’t expect to be printing off your own plastic goodies anytime soon. HP Inc boss-to-be Dion Weisler told an audience at the Canalys Channels Forum today that development of its 3d printer offering was progressing apace. “We are broadly on track. We said we’ …
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2015
Rows of Gummi Bears in military formation. Author: Institute for Web Science and Technologies, University of Koblenz-Landau. Licensed under CC 3.0

The tyranny of choice: Why enterprise tech buyers are confused

Canalys Channels Forum The tech industry has left users punch-drunk with choice with the ever-increasing complexity of the technology offering being one reason for the recent sluggish IT market. This has exacerbated the impact of a strengthening dollar which has been behind an unprecedented rise in the price tags of tech products, Canalys boss Steve …
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2015
Broken piggy bank with coins surrounding it. Image via Shutterstock

Cheap money underpins the new wave of cloud software companies

Canalys Channels Forum The long-expected inevitable rise in interest rates will create upheaval in the cloud, with traditional IT companies able to play to their strengths of deep relationships with serious customers. Kicking off the Canalys Channels Conference in Barcelona, channel guru Steve Brazier said the explosion of infrastructure as a …
Joe Fay, 07 Oct 2015
Man with head in the cloud

Enterprise IT bucks fly to the cloud

Spending on traditional IT infrastructure will decline in the face of a shift to the cloud, IDC has predicted, but the old style of IT will still retain a majority of customers’ dollars at the end of this decade. Just. The research firm said today that total spending on cloud IT infrastructure will grow by 24.1 per cent this …
Joe Fay, 05 Oct 2015

Opinion

Andrew Cobley

If only lawyers could make money rather than costing money
Memristor_wafer

Chris Mellor

Execution warrant close to being signed for Fink's folly
Woman cuddles 'sly-looking' Fennec fox. Photo by Shutterstock
Cartoon of employee asking wky boss makes hium wear suspenders (while pincer through open trapdoor remains poised above his head) illustration by Cartoon resource for Shutterstock

Frank Jennings

It's not like my boss painstakingly nurtured the contacts, right?

Features

Wind turbine, image via Shutterstock
Girl and computer, photo via Shutterstock
Middle-class terror of engineering also part of problem
Nerd fail photo via Shutterstock