Network Appliance today will start saving you a precious half-second from your day by officially shortening its name to NetApp.

Along with formalizing its long-held nickname, the data storage firm has snagged a new logo, a new slogan ("Go further, faster,") and a website redesign.

Check out the website: Here, here! — it is the beating of his hideous heart!

The task of explaining its change falls to NetApp co-founder and executive veep, Dave Hitz. On his company blog, Hitz spends an exhaustive 890-plus words meditating on the brand abridgment as if he's stumbled upon some Aristotelian truth. Fortunately, Hitz bolds the good part and sticks it up on the second paragraph— we're looking at the words "brand" and "awareness."

NetApp's working theory is that most people are extremely stupid. (While experimental evidence may support their logical and self-consistent model, we feel it's always nicer when a company humors us.) Hitz hypothesizes that confusion abounds from people calling the company a wide variety monikers.

For instance, there's Network Appliance, NetApp, NetApps, Network Applications, Networking Apocolocynposis, and sometimes @%*#ing @%*& when injured shins get involved. A bungled brand name is apparently the reason why everybody doesn't purchase their own personal 1,100TB primary storage appliance.

So now the company is just NetApp. It's legal and everything. Ta-da:

The company describes the new logo as a "bold blue gateway, designed to convey NetApp's strong history in the data management business and its commitment to innovation and customer service."

Fellow Reg hack Ashlee Vance thinks it looks like a house. This journalist sees a stool. Our neighbor down the hall thinks it looks like — well — he sees inappropriate things everywhere. How about you, sirs and madams?

NetApp CEO gets another hat

The company also said today it has appointed NetApp CEO Dan Warmenhoven as its new board chairman, replacing Don Valentine who held the position since 1994.

Valentine will remain on the board with a business card-busting title created just for the occasion: "Lead independent director of NetApp."

NetApp chief operating officer, Tom Georgens, has also been tapped as the 11th member of the board. There goes the even teams for Old Maid. ®

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