Dear MS

Thanks. Thats enough security fixes now thanks. We dont need any more.

Now can you re-direct your engineers away from their geek exploits and get them to concentrate on MAKING THAT S**DING PIECE OF S**T VISTA WORK AT ALL. NO ONE IS GOING TO EXPLOIT IT, COS IT DOESNT WORK.

Kindest Regards,

A.N.Other Happy Customer.

Dear MS,

Thank you for the continuous stream of fixes to the latest versions your wonderful products. By using these amazing products I have gained valuable experience in many new technologies such as VMWare, Ubuntu and OSX.

The friendly saleman at PC Wonk introduced me to the latest version of your wonderful new operating system called "Vista:Tiger". This really is a super new version of your operating system because it is fast, reliable, safe and friendly.

However, I do miss the old "blue screens" and I am not so keen on the new logo because I dont like my fruit to be half eaten... but, overall, this is a far better operating system because it doesn't seem to be a half-baked product developed by a company with half a brain....

Yours Faithfully

Coxes Orange-Pippin

Dear Coxes Orange-Pippin,

Thank you for letting me know about Vista:Tiger.

I have just been down to PC Wonk and bought a new Vista:Tiger laptop.

The salesman did assure me that it was the only workable operating system that is pre-installed on the machines they sell... Needless to say I am very impressed with Vista:Tiger and will recommend it to all my friends.

However, I am very surprised that naughty Mr Jobs should have borrowed from many wonderful ideas from Vista:Tiger...

Yours Delighted

Granny Smith

If Microsoft didn't issue security fixes, and you had your computer hacked or information stolen, or worst, put up for other people to see, then you'll be the first to complain!

Paris? Well didn't she get hacked on a Windows device?

Hoodie please.

I installed all the updates today and one was for my conexant high definition audio driver on my laptop which was released today. It does not install and fails every time and then renders the sound useless. No sound!!!! I had to go back to the laptop manufactorer to download the driver and re-install. This driver was last updated last year and corrected the issue. And the moral of the story as you all probably know "Don't believe everything MS throw at you!".

I'm kinda confused. How does it affect Office for Mac 2004, but at the same time OS X is not one of the affected systems?

Just installed the 11(!) updates, and now Vista ends up at either the Blue Screen of Death just after login, or starts looking for the driver for the Symantec Miniport adapter before the BSOD kicks in.

I'm guessing the TCP/IP processing "fix" has upset my Norton Internet Security 2008.

Can't seem to suss out what to disable to recover from this.

Not happy at facing a rebuild...

If vendors didn't issue security fixes to their products then I might assume that their products were secure.

As they do issue security fixes then it is safe to assume that their products are insecure and should, therefore, be handled accordingly...

As some vendors have turned patching into an global industry then it safe to assume that the global industry is taking the piss along with the vendors…..

As some vendors are turning Tuesdays into an patching institution then it is safe to assume we all belong on the funny farm…

Yours truly

Golden Delicious

PS: Mine is the straight jacket with the patches and the buckles that dont work...

Yes, several years ago Microsoft foistered an "updated" modem driver upon me. It reliably reduced the maximum connection speed I could get. When I reinstalled Windows and refused the driver-update I recovered the dial-up speed I originally had.

I was also not best pleased to be recently told I needed an update for Windows Media Player 9. Assuming it was a minor security fix, I consented to it -- and now find I'm saddled with Media Player 11, which is trying to index everything on my hard disk and who knows what else? It's configuration controls are full of checkboxes with meaningless descriptions. I don't need it, and I don't want it. And I certainly don't want to have to take time out to learn how to configure this uninvited guest for maximal security and privacy. Grrrr...

Question: If I install these patches then will it stop my computer being hacked?

Answer: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA..... NO

Question: You mean my personal information could still be stolen?

Answer: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA..... YES

Question: If I complained about being hacked would this be the first complaint?

Answer: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA...... NO

Question: The second then?

Answer: No. Not even close.

Question: I am just truly gullible or just plain stupid

Answer: BOTH!

Updates broke Norton?

It was broken LONG before the patch.

I don't know you, but VIsta works fine for me. My laptop has been on without a reboot since about a month ago (with daily sleep cycles) though I guess it will need a reboot with these patches. I haven't seen a blue screen yet in almost a year of use, so I don't even know if they are still there. What is it that doesn't work for you folks?

Yes, OSX is coold, but Vista works just as well to me.

Are you replacing drivers because you're a masochist?

Do not replace a driver unless you have a specific reason, a bug fix or enhanced functionality.

Also don't get those replacement drivers from MS, as the most they will do is offer same thing you can get from the (chipset, normally) manufacturer at best, or at worst it will be a stripped down automatically crippling install with an obfuscated deinstallation process.

Also, before you ever install a driver have a copy of the presently used driver handy. Even make a backup first if the system functionality is important.

It's a good thing MS doesn't include a gun in every Vista box or you'd shoot yourself in the foot.

Resource hogging piece of rubbish, sounds like a blessing in disguise, if you ask me. Uninstall it and get something else. Apart from the 6 month free trial to start with I don't see why anyone would use it.

Apart from the motorcycles, Nortons software is a complete hunk-o-junk, then again so were the bikes....must go with the name.

"The critical updates affect ... and Microsoft Office 2004 for Mac. ... Affected systems are those running Windows XP, Windows Vista and Windows Server 2003"

hmm, so microsoft are fixing things that are not broken... hmm, we know how that goes, don't we? I mean, they "fixed" XP really well with Vista, OH yes...

Norton Internet Security is an evil, awful piece of unnecessary badly written bloat-ware. Uninstall it immediately. I suspect Microsoft would tell you to uninstall it too, and tell you why, if it wouldn't bring on a lawsuit.

Vista for me has been completely stable for 12 months. I love it. The search stuff. The explorer windows. the smoothness of it.

My laptop decided to download all the updates in 3 batches with a reboot after each one,

Wierd thing is that after the first reboot, my firewall had been turned off and I had to turn it on manually again.

MS are going down the route of trying to waterproof something and then leaving the door open.

Where can I get Vista:Tiger PC Wonk is not listed in the yellow pages?

… because I got my patches on Sunday.

(Found out via IRC, looked up the details, checked them, patched, rebuilt, installed and rebooted. No problems, and yes, I did check that the bug was fixed.)

is the US version Best Wonk or Wonk USA ?

But.. but...

Look at the stuff from the MS guy in the comments at

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/02/14/claranet_linux_security_hole/comments/

(Search the page for the text "the internal guts" (without quotes) to find it).

Going from that, obviosuly MS has a "very good reason" for you not to have sound..

(Wanders back over to a Linux machine, starts using it happily knowing it will work as it should work, unless I do something really really stupid, like install windows on it :) )