Pope issues encyclical entitled: "Allah is the one true God and Mohammed is his prophet".

Eight out of ten bears (who expressed a preference) said that they thought the most important thing to have in a cave was an indoor flush toilet with mains drainage and soft toilet paper.

A council that is doing something right, which party is in control here? Or has the missing discs shit storm giving them cold feet? Or has someone noticed that this outsourceing game is a rip-off? We must be told!