A dog is for life, not just for Christmas. With the exception of dogs that need a couple of batteries sticking up their behinds to get them moving. Yes, along with the iPod nano and the Xbox 360 the hottest Christmas gift this year is the iDog. If you haven’t got one, you can still pick up one of musical mutts in an assortment of colours on eBay. And if you have got one, you’ll be amazed at the tat you can pick up for your plastic pet.
If you can’t bear to be parted from your new best friend, how about this cute little travel bag to save on the legs and the batteries. You could obviously do the same by leaving it at home.
Or if you really want your iDog to stand out from the crowd, may I recommend this rather stylish Faux Fur Black Sweater with Tweed skirt . According to the blurb: "This outfit will surely make everyone heads turn". Quite.
The iDog isn’t the most sought-after canine on eBay. Oh no – that honour goes to the Nodding Buster . Available only to competition winners on ITV’s Paul O’Grady show, the few in circulation have sold for anything up to an amazing £300. Expect a glut of cheap copies at car boot sales in your area very soon. As business in Buster booms, pity poor Churchill. No longer the UK’s favourite nodding novelty, you pick him up for less than a tenner online.
Whilst toy dogs might be easy to manage and indeed dispose of when the novelty wears thin, there’s nothing like having a real four-legged friend greeting you as you return from a long day at work. And there is nothing like a dog owner for lavishing bizarre gifts – and clothes - on their pet at this time of year.
God gave dogs a natural coat to keep out the cold. And probably because he knew that this personalised doggy puffa jacket would make it into production. Ideal for any shoplifting dog, though the name on the back may give the police something to go on. If your pet likes a bit of rough and tumble at the seaside, why not pack him off with this mod parka?
But seeing as it’s Christmas, only one outfit really fits the bill. Yes, you can dress up your dog as Santa. It’ll eat the mince pie, probably drink the sherry. And it might even leave you a little gift by the tree in the morning!