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You know that deal that Kelway bosses said DEFINITELY isn't happening?

You guessed it. CDW is go for gobble
Kat Hall, 03 Aug 12:17

'Cilla Black introduced me to my wife on Blind Date': Channel man's heartwarming story

Re-seller re Cilla - 'we were the first success story'
Kat Hall, 03 Aug 11:21

Windows 10 collects colossal 0.375 per cent market share in July

Steady as she goes for Windows XP, 7 and 8.1, but 8.0 and Vista are just about dead
Simon Sharwood, 02 Aug 22:59

Daisy completes Phoenix IT gobble

Outfit marches on with £1bn revenue mid-market domination plan
Kat Hall, 31 Jul 11:21

HP insists 'we don't have a global dress code' – while deleting one from its website

Head of HR films video response for El Reg
Chris Williams, 31 Jul 07:02

Derelict TrueCrypt Russia portal 'is command hub for Ukraine spying op'

Backdoored code slung at officials, journos etc
John Leyden, 30 Jul 17:58
4 arrows signs in arrow on wooden wall

Tired tablets don't tickle the imagination, so sales fall again

Box-counter IDC's latest Quarterly tablet tracker has more bad news for fondleslab fans: sales are down and the market is fragmenting.

NetApp sees IBM/Cisco VersaStack as 'huge' threat to FlexPod

NetApp has inadvertently leaked competitive intelligence documents to a community newsfeed, and the contents reveal it worries that IBM and Cisco's VersaStack will threaten its FlexPod business and that SolidFire has emerged as a threat.

Capita cracks open the bubbly after 10 per cent sales jump

Frenchy rival Atos also celebrates big growth despite DWP contract boot

Blighty tablet sales plunge 31 per cent in saturated market

Eurozone buffer helps desktop PCs sales rise 20 per cent, however
Lenovo Yoga 3 Pro Ultrabook

Intel tests definition of insanity with (leaked) typoslab Skylake CPUs

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.
Steve Ballmer. Pic:  Aanjhan Ranganathan

Ballmer's billion-dollar blunders: When he gambled Microsoft's money and lost

Analysis Less than two years into Satya Nadella's tenure as CEO of Microsoft, he's already had to report a lossmaking quarter. It's only the second time that's happened in the software giant's three decades as a public company, and the $8.44bn write-off Redmond posted earlier this week is the largest in its history.

Oracle storage analytics break Oracle storage appliances

Big Red warns of ZFS boxen halting when you delve too greedily and too deep
Simon Sharwood, 27 Jul 04:57

EU rubber-stamps Nokia's proposed Alcatel-Lucent gobble

Says they're 'not close competitors'
Neil McAllister, 25 Jul 08:01

How to waste two years and lose $415m: Cisco's now-dead Whiptail deal

Exclusive + analysis A sorry story of whipped tales, angst and attrition
Chris Mellor, 24 Jul 18:16

Intel promises 'scores' of deals to underpin enterprise cloud

Let's build out the software defined infrastructure
Team Register, 24 Jul 13:25

Unisys halts and catches fire: Mainframe builder dives into the red

It did see ‘solid revenue growth on a constant currency basis’ though, so there's that
Kat Hall, 24 Jul 11:45

Microsoft delivers Exchange 2016 Preview

Born in the cloud, only lives on Windows Server 2012, CAS servers kicked out of home
Simon Sharwood, 24 Jul 07:21

HP slaps dress code on R&D geeks: Bin that T-shirt, put on this tie

Exclusive Grumbling from techies as rules enforced to keep customers happy – source
Chris Williams, 24 Jul 07:01

BlackBerry vows to make even fewer phones

New strategy means hardware business is just clinging on, at best
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Jul 03:58

IBM slurps database-as-a-service outfit Compose

MongoDB, Redis, Elasticsearch, PostgreSQL to be thrown into the Bluemix
Simon Sharwood, 24 Jul 02:03

Embarrassed Amazon admits to actually MAKING MONEY as cloud biz blooms

Investors blindsided by unexpected profit
Neil McAllister, 23 Jul 21:41

The green salamander is OUT: Cisco gives up on Invicta flash arrays

Sources whisper to El Reg while firm won't confirm – or deny
Chris Mellor, 23 Jul 15:55

EMC's turbulent trifecta temporarily ties Tucci to top table

Comment CEO sends united federation off to seek out new life and new civilisations
Chris Mellor, 23 Jul 13:28

Investors fling fresh cash at Mike Lynch-backed Darktrace

Former spook-operated biz now worth more than £60m
Kat Hall, 23 Jul 12:00

We need the power of corporates, says OpenStack exec

Linux-for-cloud head rejects pioneer's claim of a 'lost soul'
Gavin Clarke, 23 Jul 11:39
Monster virtual machine

Magic quadrant of four squares, who's the virtualisation Mayor?

The analyo-mages at Gartner have emitted their Magic Quadrant for x86 Server Virtualization Infrastructure for 2015 and found a race in two between Microsoft and VMware, the only companies rated “leaders” in the field.
happy_woman_at_desk

WHOA! Windows 10 to be sold on USB drives – what a time to be alive

Truly these are magical days: Microsoft has confirmed that Windows 10 will indeed be sold on USB thumb drives rather than just on optical discs, confirming internet mumblings that have been current for some time.
Job cuts jpeg

AMD CEO: We're jumping back into cost-cutting mode

AMD has confirmed it is slipping back into cost-cutting mode after its annus horribilis, caused by tanking demand for consumer PCs in a quarter described by CEO Lisa Su as the “revenue trough” for 2015.
trolley_shopping_648

Microsoft licensing house Crayon buys into US tech market

European Microsoft licensing solutions partner Crayon Group is setting up shop in the US after subsuming Software Wholesale International.

Opinion

Ship scrapyard photo via Shutterstock
Windows 10 Universal Apps
Windows 10 on Surface 3

Tim Anderson

It's do-or-die for Microsoft's new operating system on 29 July
Wine Taps by N Wong, Flickr, CC 2.0 License

Simon Sharwood

Clouds sell compute by the glass. On-premises kitmakers want to sell wine-as-a-service

Greg Knieriemen

Privacy, security, information sovereignty, what we all want, right?

Features

Steve Ballmer. Pic:  Aanjhan Ranganathan
Nokia is the biggest write-off yet, but it wasn't the first
Confused computer keyboard
Last Christmas, I gave you my Cloud, the very next day you gave it away
Time to pull out the magnifying glass to swot up on those Ts&Cs
Android icon desktop toys
Nice devices, now speak 'enterprise' to me
Standard Form 86 reads like a biography of each intelligence worker
Protestor barricade image via Shutterstock
Breaking through the hardware barricades to a new network state